Friday, January 29, 2010

The First Day

Yesterday was my last day at PennPAT, the organization where I had worked for over two years. Due to budget cuts and a restructuring of the program, many marketing initiatives have been suspended and there wasn't a need for a Program Associate. So after two terrific years of being a face of the organization, meeting inspiring artists and programming folks, I packed my duds and headed home.

I've been through several lay offs in my ten year career and I'm grateful for the time I was given at PennPAT - time to let the constituency know, time to plan, time to think, time to let it digest. Usually the "first day" of the rest of my life - the day after it takes effect - is filled with shock. But here I am, at home, cleaning my house, confident that good projects will soon be knocking.

I'm reminded of a poem my high school senior lit class read on our last day of class - I cannot recall the name of it but it started with, "This is the first day of the rest of your life..."

I'm an adaptable person and I'm excited for the good change on the horizon.

Friday, January 08, 2010

Now

I'm at the Sheraton in Midtown for APAP and so much for my excitement for being in this hotel (instead of the Hilton). The lesson learned here is if you want space in NYC you must pay, handsomely, for it. Note to self.

I'm PMSed and moody...It's the sort of state of mind where you just need that friend that knows you well enough to hang out with you but leave you alone in your funk...drop into some hole in the wall bookstore and wander around with your coffee.

I had to do the whole makeshift business cards since payment didn't reach my designer in time. I think I'd feel a little better if I were doling out the good version of my brand identity.

But who am I kidding? It's a tough mental place when you've been laid off and people are sorry but not sure what to do or say and everyone wonders, including yourself, where you'll be next...where you belong. And the only ones who get it are the entrepreneurs or those who have stood in your exact shoes.

I have something in my back pocket and I'm sure there's a part of him that's wishing I was on his staff at this very moment and part of me wishes that too.

I'm trying not to beat myself up right now. I do a lot and manage a lot and balance a lot and I think overall I do a pretty decent job. It's more than most people would be able to handle.

So I envision the cover of Oasis' 97 album - BE HERE NOW. Just be.