Sunday, August 12, 2012

On My Shoulders

We were talking about big long term plans and he had asked if I'd stay in our current house and I confided how I wanted to move...how I'd been ready to move for 2-3 years now but given the turn of events from 2009 to present day, it doesn't allow for it.  I gave him the Reader Digest version of it all and summed it up with how I feel like it's my fault things aren't progressing.  And he stared me straight in the eye and said - That's a whole lot of responsibility to put on your shoulders.  You should try to take some of that off.

I felt vulnerable in that moment...like I suddenly realized I'd said too much.  And why do I always offer so much?  On the way home I thought of other specific questions I'd had and forgot to ask.  Damn.  But then thought - that wasn't what it was about.  Sure, he's a great sounding board for business tactics and planning but he plays another role too. 

He's always telling me to not be so hard on myself.

I'm always conflicted after these conversations.