I remember when I graduated SJU and the entire spring and summer of 2000 I was interviewing for jobs. All my brothers and sister's friends would make fun of me, call me a "woman" in my power suit. Off I'd go to an interview. Off I'd return to Deck the Walls. It would be late September when I'd land the Marketing position with Broadreach.
Are all the power suits and associated careers over-rated? How cushy are those jobs, really? I ponder this seriously now. I want cushy, nice salary, kick ass benefits, upward mobility, challenge. This pipe dream - does it only exist at big firms? The Duponts and Astra Zenecas of the world? The PWCs? Deloittes? The places that only recruite executive level or MBAs. At Harvard and UPenn. There's no room at these places for someone like me. My resume and online profile go into some black hole when I hit submit along with millions of others. I'm not even sure that knowing someone at one of those firms would secure one a job.
Do you the people who return my emails? The unsolicited introductions to people I'd like to meet and/or work for? The Executive Director of Montclair University's Arts & Culture Department. The President of a NYC production company. Is this where I am supposed to be? Surely, I can parade around in my power suit at the conferences :) But I worry. If I am able to go back, how do I circumvent the lack of upward mobility that exists in the arts? All I know of this career world is to leave to get ahead. I hate that. I want to stay. But my "career" reads like a small business employee. It's unsettling that large companies don't see beyond that...don't see potential and A player in someone that is.
At least I would be able to pull my suits out of the dark corners of my closet if I return to performing arts. My current supervisor once told me I needed more funk in my clothes to work at the gallery. Seriously. The last time I checked "qualified" and "hardworking" meant more on a given day than what one was wearing. I was wearing black trousers and a chunky hot pink sweater. It could also be that my last supervisor told me I made him uncomfortable in my funky summer tank. Maybe I was scarred for life after that :)
Sigh. The search continues...