Thursday, January 10, 2008

Storm in Heaven

I heard an old tune today on the drive home and I sang along to the chorus and heard the words echo in my psyche. I used to sing these words in 1998 when I couldn't bare to talk to friends or even family about my parents separating...I didn't want anyone to see me in this fragile vulnerable state...they couldn't possibly understand. How could anyone else comprehend it when I couldn't? When one big thing was obviously the result of years of lots of little things - things that didn't even involve me - breaking apart?

The storm in heaven swirled tonight, 10 years ago. I almost fainted when they told me the news. I had to go work and afterwards I didn't care to go home. I wandered around the town of West Chester until midnight. It was a ghost town then and I fit in perfectly that night. When I arrived home, mom was sleeping, dad was still upset and John was in his room sobbing. I turned to go into my room and avoid everything but he was only 14 and something told me I had to put my own grief aside and comfort him. We'd all been close siblings but the next five years would bring us closer.

The storm would rage on most of that year until it finally died down to a drizzle...and drizzle it did on our lives for another four years. Somehow they persevered...somehow we persevered. Somehow we all learned from the stormy weather and came out on the other sunny side better people.

Ten years is a long time. A lot can change in ten years.

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