Thursday, December 28, 2006

Interesting Horoscopes

These were from the last few weeks. Of course, I couldn't add them sooner due to the bathroom mess piling up in front of my PC! But I love the one from December seemed to KNOW what was on course. The first line is classic. I should have listened.

November 15, 2006
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22–Dec. 21): A storm has been stirring up your inner world. Tune into it now. Feel its blustering squall. Bow down to its pummeling howl. Let your awe and amazement rise as you contemplate how much power it has had to disturb you. Feel gratitude for all the ways it has forced you to become tougher and cagier. Now imagine that the storm is beginning to dissipate. Sense it slowly but surely losing its force, spending its last fury. Soon it will have evolved into a misty drizzle. Tomorrow morning, I bet you will awaken filled with the relaxed clarity that comes after having great sex.

November 22, 2006
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22–Dec. 21): "Whether we are on the threshold of a Golden Age or on the brink of a global cataclysm that will extinguish our civilization is not only unknowable, but undecided," said Edward Cornish, president of the World Future Society. I bet that in the past year you've had comparable fantasies about the fate of your own personal destiny, Sagittarius. At times, it must have seemed as if you were teetering on the brink of a sulfurous abyss that was within shouting distance of the yellow brick road to paradise. Talk about conflicting emotions! But now that crazy-making chapter of your life story is coming to an end. No more teetering for you. No more inhaling noxious fumes from the infernal regions. I believe you have already been offered or will soon be offered an escort to the beginning of the yellow brick road. Let's hope you're not so addicted to the fascinating glamour of your pain that you turn down the escort.

December 6, 2006
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22–Dec. 21): Does anyone have to go to the bathroom, get a drink, or take some Advil? Are there any nagging little concerns that need attending to? I urge you to take care of these or any other matters of personal comfort before we plunge into this assembling-jigsaw-puzzles-while-riding-on-a-roller-coaster kind of week, this swimming-the-backstroke-through-the-churning-waters-of-the-tunnel-of-love-while-wearing-a- medieval-knight's-helmet-and-your-sexiest- underwear kind of week, this everyone-for-himself-but-we're-all-in-this-together kind of week.

December 13, 2006
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22–Dec. 21): "The thing that makes you exceptional is inevitably that which must also make you lonely," said playwright Lorraine Hansberry. I agree. That's why my exuberant advice for you this week is also cautionary. According to my reading of the omens, in 2007 you will have unprecedented opportunities to cultivate and express the special talents that make you unique. To get to the root of them, though, you'll have to be willing to get less of the approval and appreciation you'd ideally like to have. You may not have to be relentlessly solitary, but you will have to be vigorously independent.

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