Monday, February 06, 2006

On Your Own

A Verve song, though appropriate for my Philosopher King musings this evening. You come in on your own and you leave on your own, forget the lovers you loved and the friends you have known.

So why then does it matter? Why make it matter? Everyday I experience something that validates that statement. A trust is broken, a friend leaves, I move, whatever. I'm left where I started - by myself, on my own. Maybe not entirely. Physically, yes, but emotionally and mentally, didn't that person influence me? Maybe I let them, maybe I didn't even know the profound impact of that encounter. But it happened. And I'm left mulling it over in solitude, perhaps in a blog like this.

Maybe Shakespeare's words from As You Like It are accurate - All the world's a stage and the men and woman merely players. They have their exits and their entrances and one man in his lifetime plays many parts. I wonder why a situation played out the way it seemes unfavorable to walk out, leave, lose a trust and connection. But I suppose to move forward, to potentially resurface and come back, to play another part, something had to break.

I stoood on the edge once and wondered how I'd move on without a friend, someone who provided comic relief as well as a vast knowledge of arts. It's so easy to always look to that one outlet. But in knowing this friend, didn't I take the positive elements of the relationship and apply them to myself? I just had to find them. Suddenly I was more than I thought I could be. Thanks dude.

I move on. I can marry the need for connections with the need to trust their positive effects on me. Those connections will come from far and wide in the forms of many players, many may be repeats. But they will come and go. I need to be OK with the comings and goings. With finding that great whatever for that moment, relishing it, and knowing in a NY minute it could be over. But for that minute, I was inspired and wrapped up in a good thing. Carry that good onward. It isn't an end really...

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