Resolutions

I haven't done New Year's resolutions in some time...usually I'd hold myself so accountable that when things beyond my control would occur and the resolution didn't happen (or looked different), I would feel like a failure. Case in point - 2001. THAT sure was a crummy year.

So here are some things kicking around in my head...no particular order:

Re-establish Piccadilly Arts
Get back into pottery and photography
Finish a scarf and learn the granny square
Read 2-3 books
Take Mitch on some trips

Mitch in the snow

Finally. Snow. Real snow. Not that fake dusting business. The stuff that doesn't count. Finally, a real storm. Not sure it'll spank the mid-90s blizzards and ice storms we once saw but it's doing OK right now.

After about 30 minutes of getting myself and Mitch dolled up in snow gear, I took the munchkin out in the elements for the first time. Here are some pictures of him experiencing the white fluffy stuff. He was most curious but uncertain. He didn't move much. He does remind one of the little guy in Christmas Story. "I can't move my arms!"

When I got him back inside and pulled off his boots, hat, and snow suit, some cold melted snow hit the carpet and touched his bare piggies. Well, he would have NONE of that. He proceeded to tell off the suit, hat, boots and any other snow covered garment in sight. "RUH RUH RUH!" followed by a pointed finger. He was furious to say the least.

New Logo

So I hired a gal to design me a logo for Piccadilly. I am beyond excited for this. It feels very official. Once I have the logo, I can drop it onto a business card, create some stationary, and even my favorite - a stamp!

I'm getting more clear about the direction of the company as well as the feel of the brand. It's overwhelming to see my ideas morph - a lot. When I started, it was all about marketing consulting for artists and arts organizations. Then it sort of expanded to include small independent businesses. Then about 7 months ago a great circus company asked me to be their agent. Suddenly, I was knocked off my chair and all sorts of emotions flooded through me. Agent? Manager? What?

See the thing is - I was an artists' rep for a little bit. It was a wonderful experience. The best place I ever worked. EVER. I still miss being there. It's just - I was young. I had no personal boundaries. I was gullible. I did stupid things. Said stupid things. I was 110% capable of being much more than I was there. It wasn't that I couldn't handle the work. I just wasn't mature enough to handle some other things. It took me a long time to really understand that about myself. Old feelings die hard though and I was agonizing over whether I'd make a good manager and agent for this circus company.

After weeks of pushing it out of my head I finally realized it wasn't leaving...moreover, I didn't really want it to leave. Furthermore, I had to get over myself. CONFIDENCE! I was beyond passionate about this company. I watched their showcase and thought - how do they not have representation? The AD asking me was a huge compliment. I needed to figure out how to move forward with this whole notion.

Enter Operation Business Plan. How many business plans have I created now? Something like 3. I'm a pro at market research and putting stuff on paper. Start Up Nation kicked my butt into gear mid summer and I created my Life Plan. Since then I've been piece mealing the plan together - market research when I can, interviews with folks when I can, swiping ideas from other industry pros and workshops, analyzing competitors. It all resides in Google Docs. It's coming along.

The biggest decision was to focus. Focus on family programming initially. However, family programming has a bad rep and the truth is, most family programming IS terrible. But there are places out there like the New Vic Theater that do amazing programming. It redefines children and family programming.

THAT is the envelope I want to push. It goes against the whole need for curriculum tie-in (or at the very least, I'd work with just 1-2 artists with a curriculum and more along the lines of a rep theater company). What I envision is a roster of 4-5 artists in cirque, contemporary dance, contemporary classical compositions, rep or ensemble theater company, storytelling, and interesting puppetry.

So this is where I am. And trying to visualize a logo that matches all that, the rest of my brand vision and values, and my personality is tough. But I'm hoping, one step at a time. Whatever it ends up being, it's going to be fun. Stay tuned.

What about ME?

This typically does not bother me. I'm a very independent person so I enjoy when my friends, family and whomever else snatches Mitch from me and gives him worlds of attention. Rock on. A break for his mommy.

Except when we go to D-town.

We drop in every couple of months to visit my old work - whether it's physically swooping in and disrupting the "work" going on or bumming around town or seeing a performance. Mitch gets tons of attention. As stated above, I generally don't mind. I can catch up with my friends, find out what's going on at the agency, go shopping for CDs in the publicity department. All fine. Until the follow up.

"When's Mitch coming again?"
"You should bring Mitch to D-town."
"The kids keep asking for Mitch."

The "kids" are my old boss' kids. They are 8 and 12 and LOVE babysitting Mitch. He's like a toy to them. It's actually very adorable. I love that they love him. I love that MY kid is the favorite. And I don't even work there anymore. However, sometimes, (after the third email asking this) my eyebrow raises and what I want to do is scream - WHAT ABOUT ME?!

The thing is though - I got exactly what I wanted and I have to remind myself of that sometimes. It is about me...or in the aforementioned situations, about my child. It's not always going to look like cigars and conversation.

Cigars and Compliments

Five years ago I was here at PAE...different time and place in my life.

You do have a way of "finding me" as you so put it. You found me walking back to the hotel and we talked about the baby, about work, and this disgusting weather. We pass a smoke shop and you comment on the cigars and before I could stop myself I said, "I don't want to hear about cigars...We were supposed to have end of conference cigars years ago and you ditched me and I'll never forget it!"

It just came out. How did I even remember it? I had that stupid cigar in my bag and wound up smoking two puffs with Vince's dad before I nearly died of the fumes.

But he said, "Well, come on." And I turned back as he doubled back and into the smoke shop and purchased two cigars, gave them to me for safe keeping and said tomorrow night after dinner we'd have cigars.

I have cigars in my bag right now. CIGARS.

Before we parted, I told myself I needed to open up and talk about the management idea. A whole dialogue ensued and he told me a lot of what I already knew. Then out front of the hotel he said, "I think you can do it...and I think you'd be good at it."

He would have bought me a drink - and more enlightening conversation? - but I had dinner plans.

This scene has been playing in my head for hours. Five years after you kicked me to the curb, I get my End of Conference Cigar AND an amazing compliment. I'm overwhelmed and not sure how I'm feeling.

Uh-Oh

Mitch's new/favorite word. It sounds more like "Atoh" and because we've often said "Uh Oh Spaghetti Ohs" he now tries to sound out the allusive 4 syllable last part of that phrase and it comes out garbled!

At almost 15 months he now says hi and bye (on occasion) and this and that (dis! dat!) and dog (doe-awg) and ball. He picks up and throws any ball he can get his hands on.

I love the kid.

Inauguration 1.20.09

It's an amazing day...the Inauguration of Barack Obama today, Tuesday, January 20, 2009. In 2009 many, including myself are watching this live on CNN.com. I tuned in via Facebook. It's just wild having my page refresh by the second with people's status updates and reading the touching and sometimes funny thoughts. I cannot recall ever an election and inauguration as emotionally intense as this. From the Amtrak train ride this past weekend and stops in Claymont and Wilmington...to the concert on Sunday...to seeing inauguration t-shirts at Old Navy yesterday. And now, just the sheer number of people, the happiness of the crowd (and those viewing this live), the anticipation, the hope...WOW.

Mitch at 7 months

I never thought the day would come when the little man would really be a baby...not a newborn or an infant anymore. But here he is at 7 months old and I'm packing away all his adorable newborn duds, his 0-3 and 3-6 month clothes, hats, booties he wore for a day, sleep sacks that kept him snug in his bassinet. When you're in it, it doesn't feel like it's moving...it feels like every day is a new thing, something changing and you are adjusting and rarely did I have 2 seconds to really step back and take it all in and see the moments. I've captured quite a few though in his baby book...his first smile, laugh, sitting up, cutting his first teeth. But between hauling those teeny tiny clothes to the attic and weening him, I realized we have moved...and are moving into another place now. Who knew I'd become so emotionally attached to breast feeding him? That not seeing the little bottles of mother's milk in the fridge or the baggies in the freezer would make me lament the those days of hard work and commitment. But it's 2009 and in this year he will crawl, walk, talk and eat more baby food and then his first big boy meal and do a million other amazing things. The reflections will be bittersweet.

Somedays I want him to stay this small...other days I cannot wait for him to run to me and yell "Mommy!"