Changes

A few weeks ago I had a complete breakdown - in my efforts to rearrange and create space in our small twin home, I just lost it. Furniture, clothing, toys and more were scattered all about the living room and I screamed at Vince how there is just NO MORE ROOM. Period. The end.

I left everything where it was that evening and despite knowing it was more or less my PMSed induced state, I realized I have never abandoned anything, never thrown anything, and never felt that lost in the house.

We bought 5.5 years ago - in the winter of 2005. Pre-wedding and pre-baby. We've done a ton of work to the place - new bath, new hardwood floors, fresh paint, new deck, and most recently, a new kitchen. This is only 1/8 of the list of upgrades. However, I think even with all the improvements, it becomes clear at some point that we've outgrown the place. We've reached that point.

I thought there was a way for me to carve out a section of the basement and make it a home office but I simply cannot work in the dungeon...and it really is. It's an old, cold, dark 1950s basement. Unless we dropped $10K to finish the basement, I would need to find another location in the house. We contemplated the remodel but since there is no exit, it wouldn't add to the square footage of our home. Moreover, in our community, homes top out at a certain point. No way would we get back what we put in.

so here I am, making an effort to do what I can with what I have because I know sometime in the next year we will be moving. We've already started the process. Meeting with Realtors, talking to mortgage brokers, driving around areas we like. I'm a little sad. I love this home. We have done a ton to make it awesome. I will miss that.

I'm also anxious because of the economy. Worried about how the financials will play out and hoping we can sell and get a fair price...hoping we get whatever cute charming home we'll eventually adore and want in our price range. So many variables though.

And then the actual agony of moving. MOVING SUCKS and there simply isn't anything exciting about it. Even when you get to your destination, you stare at mounds of boxes and live in a state of disarray for a good while. I hate that feeling.

I'm a bundle of mixed emotions. Maybe the one little ray of light is the thought of the real home office I can create. Maybe.