Eight years ago I had an internship with Nabisco that lasted about six weeks. I came away from the intership with three valuable lessons:
First, you figure out what you want in life by figuring out what you don't want. I didn't want to be a Food Marketing major anymore. I could not work as a Territory Rep for Kellog's or some big chain, schlepping around to various markets and calling on clients, selling, and checking merchandise. No way.
Second, never ever put up with sexual harassment whether it's blatent or not. If it makes you uncomfortable, speak up. Then keep records of everything because you'll need it if/when the bastard gets fired.
Third, in the end, it's all just cookies and crackers. One of the guys I was following around in those weeks said those words to me and it was hilarious. Literally, that's what it was. Oreo cookies and Triscuit crackers! Years later I still recall it because it grounds me completely.
It's so easy to let things work us into tizzies. I dealt with so much BS in my last job that I now tend to let too much roll off my back. But here and there, someone knifes me in the back, purposely, manipulatively. My one co-worker has done this repeatedly to me over the last few weeks...slithering his way into some of my sales leads and then stealing the sale and customer from me. Each time the knife got a little deeper and the pain stung a little more. I've been honest with this co-worker and told him how it makes me feel...and that I have never done that to him. But today, I just broke down, thankfully, in my car on the ride home. I wasn't there when it happened (which is why it happened)...but he saw me speaking with this guy yesterday about a table and some other items and knew I'd made a call to the artist to obtain additional information. I even sent the guy an email with links. I imagine the guy came in and asked for me. Even if he hadn't, he would have alluded to the previous days conversation. All of which Evil Co-Worker knew. He had the balls to tell my owner he sold the guy the table and talked about the other items. The hilarious part is my owner knew I had worked with the guy! She totally called Evil Co-Worker on it and said "I'm pretty sure that's Chrissie's guy from yesterday."
ARG! I still want to arrange voodoo dolls and stick them with pins and damn Evil Co-Worker to Hell. I could go on about how "look at me, look at me" Evil Co-Worker is but you get the drift.
So I'm left wondering how to handle this tomorrow. I am trying to remember that it's just cookies and crackers here. I mean I'm crying over a lost sale? Get it together Chris. You still need your stinkin wedding band and your marriage is in 3 weeks! But I know my little Type A personality likes that sense of accomplishment and ownership and he is continuously robbing me of it. Can I find that somewhere else? Would I be OK finding it somewhere else? Or should I let it go, be the bigger person who doesn't need this drama in her life to define her? He's the 40 year old baby who obviously needs the attention more than me so he stoops to evil manipulative measures to get it. But why do I have to roll over and enable him? It's what keeps victims entrenched in their victim mentality.
What do I really want here? To work with the guy on his design space? Or to F Evil Co-worker and take back what's rightfully mine in the name of truth and accomplishment! If I can't truthfully say the first thing, then I should let it go and let Evil Co-Worker have it. Sadly, none of us should ever have to be looking at either of these opions (he pulls these sneak attacks on everyone). We should be able to be free to make our our sales. We're manipulated and backed into a corner so we have to make this choice and therefore fuel his need. The bottom line is - I don't need him or his crap. So let this blog be a written reminder to me to peace him out, however I need to accomplish it.
He's just a cookie and cracker.