Thursday, February 17, 2011
Red Velvet Cupcakes
Friday, February 11, 2011
Science Museum
Almost like we were Curious George and his friend, the Man with the Yellow Hat, Mitch and I set off today to visit the Academy of Natural Sciences in Philadelphia. No lie, I had not been there since I was 10, for a 4th grade field trip. Even walking in, I really had no recollection of the place except maybe the gift shop. I was 10 so I can imagine I cared more about hanging out with my friends than the dino bones that graced the place.
But dinosaur bones there still are. As soon as we were through the big doors, Mitch looked up and exclaimed in amazement, "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! MOMMMY!! DINOSAURS!! ROOOOOOAAAAARRRRR!!!!" And off he flew like a bird. It was definitely the equivalent of a child on Christmas morning -- amazed, astounded, in love, overwhelmed, excited.
We saw dinosaur bones, animal exhibits, more beast bones, the Butterfly exhibit, and the children's nature exhibit. Mitch got to dig for fossils and sift sand. He saw pandas, antelope, gorillas, birds, an auk (they DO exist people), turtles, frogs, and more. I thought surely he was on information and sensory overload but the entire drive home he told me everything he saw and did and ate.
Naturally, I couldn't let us skate out without a trip into the museum store. This is bad of me because now is the time to skate out...when he doesn't know. Instead I saw the tiny rubber frog and thought, what a cool souvie from his first time here. It snowballed into a Critter Case with a few more rubber reptiles that we carried out of there to the awws of older folk around us: " Awww...That is so sweet...a critter case..." And sweet it was. There were are, hand in hand, with Mitch's other hand clinging his critter case. In his coat and snow hate, he looked like an adorable toddler. It is a cute plastic case I have to admit. Even if I do cringe at the thought of what interesting creatures he and the dog will find to put in there this spring and summer.
But dinosaur bones there still are. As soon as we were through the big doors, Mitch looked up and exclaimed in amazement, "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! MOMMMY!! DINOSAURS!! ROOOOOOAAAAARRRRR!!!!" And off he flew like a bird. It was definitely the equivalent of a child on Christmas morning -- amazed, astounded, in love, overwhelmed, excited.
We saw dinosaur bones, animal exhibits, more beast bones, the Butterfly exhibit, and the children's nature exhibit. Mitch got to dig for fossils and sift sand. He saw pandas, antelope, gorillas, birds, an auk (they DO exist people), turtles, frogs, and more. I thought surely he was on information and sensory overload but the entire drive home he told me everything he saw and did and ate.
Naturally, I couldn't let us skate out without a trip into the museum store. This is bad of me because now is the time to skate out...when he doesn't know. Instead I saw the tiny rubber frog and thought, what a cool souvie from his first time here. It snowballed into a Critter Case with a few more rubber reptiles that we carried out of there to the awws of older folk around us: " Awww...That is so sweet...a critter case..." And sweet it was. There were are, hand in hand, with Mitch's other hand clinging his critter case. In his coat and snow hate, he looked like an adorable toddler. It is a cute plastic case I have to admit. Even if I do cringe at the thought of what interesting creatures he and the dog will find to put in there this spring and summer.
Wednesday, February 09, 2011
Monday, January 31, 2011
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
A tale of a frog
I imagine Frog is the missing character in Toy Story. When Mitch left him behind in the TECO Theater bathroom last week, post Grog performance, I suspect that he woke up and ran to the bathroom door, pounding on it and screaming at the top of his froggie lungs, "WAIT!! COME BACK!!!" and then sobbing a la Woody and hoping his beloved Mitchell or Mitchell's Mom would return for him.
Well Mitchell's mom dove through hoops to find him, that is for sure. Upon the realization that Frog was MIA, my brain ran through the morning's activities, quickly retracing steps. He had Frog during the performance and afterward. We went to the bathroom hoping to find a changing table but alas, there was none. I did, however, do my business and...that was the last time I saw Frog. He must be there!
I scampered over to the theater only to find it locked. My mind raced - Mo. She is the Director of Operations and I know her well. If I could find her, I'd be able to get into the theater and rescue Frog. Before I spotted Mo, I found an usher and explained my predicament, asking if there might be any way she could let me in the theater. Sure, she said. Follow me. And back we went.
I held my breath as I opened the door to the ladies room. What if? I was only 90% certain he was there...what would I do? What would I tell Mitch when he finally realized Frog was gone and said, "No, mommy...other frog!" as he often does (he has two frogs, this one being his favorite). This is my baby's favorite stuffed toy...favorite toy hands down. I couldn't bare the thought of Frog being lost forever...lost somewhere in Tampa. I love Frog too.
I gingerly opened the door to the stall and at first I didn't see anything to my left. Then, a quick glance to my right and there was Frog. On the ground but there. Dirty but there. I scooped up the little bundle of love and gave it a hug and carried it proudly out the door, thanking Usher Katherine the rest of the walk back to IPAY headquarters. I had missed a showcase performance and desperately needed coffee but they were worth sacrificing - for Mitch and for Frog.
Frog was washed up that afternoon at cousin Amy's house and restored to his grandeur.
There were a few more moments of panic over frog's whereabouts as the vacation went on but thankfully, he ventured no further than a few feet away and no more potty breaks.
Here's a cameo of the little guy. Man's Frog. Who knew a baby shower gift would be his love?
Well Mitchell's mom dove through hoops to find him, that is for sure. Upon the realization that Frog was MIA, my brain ran through the morning's activities, quickly retracing steps. He had Frog during the performance and afterward. We went to the bathroom hoping to find a changing table but alas, there was none. I did, however, do my business and...that was the last time I saw Frog. He must be there!
I scampered over to the theater only to find it locked. My mind raced - Mo. She is the Director of Operations and I know her well. If I could find her, I'd be able to get into the theater and rescue Frog. Before I spotted Mo, I found an usher and explained my predicament, asking if there might be any way she could let me in the theater. Sure, she said. Follow me. And back we went.
I held my breath as I opened the door to the ladies room. What if? I was only 90% certain he was there...what would I do? What would I tell Mitch when he finally realized Frog was gone and said, "No, mommy...other frog!" as he often does (he has two frogs, this one being his favorite). This is my baby's favorite stuffed toy...favorite toy hands down. I couldn't bare the thought of Frog being lost forever...lost somewhere in Tampa. I love Frog too.
I gingerly opened the door to the stall and at first I didn't see anything to my left. Then, a quick glance to my right and there was Frog. On the ground but there. Dirty but there. I scooped up the little bundle of love and gave it a hug and carried it proudly out the door, thanking Usher Katherine the rest of the walk back to IPAY headquarters. I had missed a showcase performance and desperately needed coffee but they were worth sacrificing - for Mitch and for Frog.
Frog was washed up that afternoon at cousin Amy's house and restored to his grandeur.
There were a few more moments of panic over frog's whereabouts as the vacation went on but thankfully, he ventured no further than a few feet away and no more potty breaks.
Here's a cameo of the little guy. Man's Frog. Who knew a baby shower gift would be his love?
Monday, January 24, 2011
Tampa for IPAY
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Traveling Cunundrums
There's really no way to vent about this without sounding like a complete snob but I'll try anyway...
I or perhaps, we (my husband and I) are at a point in our lives where certain things matter to us. For example, traveling. I'm the planner in the relationship for sure, but roles aside, the bottom line is, we know what are must-haves: A decent hotel or house, a pool, some culture, some boutiques, some interesting things to do/see nearby, wifi, a massage place, and if we bring the boy, some kid friendly places too.
I say this because we're realizing that at some point in the past 5-7 years, what we did then and what we do/want now with friends has changed. Once we were all in similar boats and certain situations were completely fine. Factor in kids and some of those luxuries I mentioned above and suddenly it makes more sense to just do our own thing. Because well, we're not cutting THOSE corners.
Regardless of others' financial situations, let's face it -- some people just have totally different priorities. Some are just spendthrifts. That's fine. I'm not going to tell you how and where to spend your hard earned cash, or what's important to you. But I'm starting to have issues with those folks that almost never can nor want to go out once in a while...or drive somewhere...or do something that doesn't always involve me coming to them so they can save a buck or not be inconvenienced. I admit if I care enough, I can suck it up. For a good while.
But when is enough enough? When do you say - I have standards (or priorities), they are higher (or different) than yours and I'm not sacrificing just so you get what you want, again, or because to make something within your budget?
See, this is what I mean about seeming like a snob. Around friends and family you love. And if we want something bad enough, do we pony up the extra cash? Do we keep doing what we're doing, feeling like we do it all? That the proverbial street is one way? Certainly there are intrinsic benefits I'm not accounting for but still...you do like to know that you matter just as much to others that they are willing to contribute once in a while.
Sigh.
I or perhaps, we (my husband and I) are at a point in our lives where certain things matter to us. For example, traveling. I'm the planner in the relationship for sure, but roles aside, the bottom line is, we know what are must-haves: A decent hotel or house, a pool, some culture, some boutiques, some interesting things to do/see nearby, wifi, a massage place, and if we bring the boy, some kid friendly places too.
I say this because we're realizing that at some point in the past 5-7 years, what we did then and what we do/want now with friends has changed. Once we were all in similar boats and certain situations were completely fine. Factor in kids and some of those luxuries I mentioned above and suddenly it makes more sense to just do our own thing. Because well, we're not cutting THOSE corners.
Regardless of others' financial situations, let's face it -- some people just have totally different priorities. Some are just spendthrifts. That's fine. I'm not going to tell you how and where to spend your hard earned cash, or what's important to you. But I'm starting to have issues with those folks that almost never can nor want to go out once in a while...or drive somewhere...or do something that doesn't always involve me coming to them so they can save a buck or not be inconvenienced. I admit if I care enough, I can suck it up. For a good while.
But when is enough enough? When do you say - I have standards (or priorities), they are higher (or different) than yours and I'm not sacrificing just so you get what you want, again, or because to make something within your budget?
See, this is what I mean about seeming like a snob. Around friends and family you love. And if we want something bad enough, do we pony up the extra cash? Do we keep doing what we're doing, feeling like we do it all? That the proverbial street is one way? Certainly there are intrinsic benefits I'm not accounting for but still...you do like to know that you matter just as much to others that they are willing to contribute once in a while.
Sigh.
Grandpop Bonanni
My late grandfather passed away in January 1992 and to celebrate what I think will be his 85th birthday tomorrow - January 13 - I'm collecting stories, memories and photos from my family today.
Here are some of my memories:
Duck Pond
Pennies from the jar
He was one of a handful of people that wrote out my full name
Tons of kiddie movies on his Beta VHS - Chip & Dale, Bugs Bunny, lots of Disney
Rope swing at Malaga
That NY had the best pizza ever -- still no denying that!
Round Ball Round Ball
Penny Poker - compliments of John
The rainbow that spread clear across the sky at his funeral
Christmas at Wannamaker
Coming to my First Communion (in NY) and the beautiful doll he and Grandmom gave me as a gift. The $50 gift that then went toward my pink Huffy bike.
Genesis' Follow You, Follow Me
It's also uncanny that at times my son is the spitting image of him ;)
Here are some of my memories:
Duck Pond
Pennies from the jar
He was one of a handful of people that wrote out my full name
Tons of kiddie movies on his Beta VHS - Chip & Dale, Bugs Bunny, lots of Disney
Rope swing at Malaga
That NY had the best pizza ever -- still no denying that!
Round Ball Round Ball
Penny Poker - compliments of John
The rainbow that spread clear across the sky at his funeral
Christmas at Wannamaker
Coming to my First Communion (in NY) and the beautiful doll he and Grandmom gave me as a gift. The $50 gift that then went toward my pink Huffy bike.
Genesis' Follow You, Follow Me
It's also uncanny that at times my son is the spitting image of him ;)
Thursday, January 06, 2011
After Dentist Treat
Wednesday, January 05, 2011
Prayer Time
I started Prayer Time with my son back in August, right as I finished up a week of leading service learning. A combination of being immersed in prayer and reflection that week and wanting to introduce him to simple gratitude prompted doing so at bedtime. Now he asks for it. "Mommy? Name fadder son amen?" I have on a few accounts tried to slip out of the room sans prayer to cut the bedtime routine down but alas, he does not let me! It's a good thing, I know and I'm glad he does like it and considers part of the routine.
I wish I could find some appropriate prayers to say with children. I imagine the concept of prayer is a tough one for a 2.5 year old to grasp. I have often asked him for whom we should pray or for what is he grateful. I get myriad of answers: Grandpop, Johnny, David, the red shirt, trains. I try to take the toys and turn them into being thankful for little things and being in a place to have and share things that so many others do not have. And to pray for the less fortunate. I try to talk about his day and mention the really great parts. But it's definitely a list.
My biggest frustration though is that so often he talks right through prayer time. I find myself shhing him! I'm trying to teach him it's a time of quiet and reflection. Again, esoteric concepts to a toddler. Truthfully, selfishly, it's also my time too to pray. Sometimes I throw in a thought about my day or business or a situation. I get a little annoyed when I'm thinking of how to phrase something so he understands...and he's interrupting talking about his sippy cup, the frog, his blanket, or his tag.
All that said, I am glad we make the time and have it together. I'm sure as he grows, the prayer will too. Like anything, I have to have a little faith. Be OK with where we are as mom and son and know it's good that we do make the time to pray and thank God for our blessings.
I wish I could find some appropriate prayers to say with children. I imagine the concept of prayer is a tough one for a 2.5 year old to grasp. I have often asked him for whom we should pray or for what is he grateful. I get myriad of answers: Grandpop, Johnny, David, the red shirt, trains. I try to take the toys and turn them into being thankful for little things and being in a place to have and share things that so many others do not have. And to pray for the less fortunate. I try to talk about his day and mention the really great parts. But it's definitely a list.
My biggest frustration though is that so often he talks right through prayer time. I find myself shhing him! I'm trying to teach him it's a time of quiet and reflection. Again, esoteric concepts to a toddler. Truthfully, selfishly, it's also my time too to pray. Sometimes I throw in a thought about my day or business or a situation. I get a little annoyed when I'm thinking of how to phrase something so he understands...and he's interrupting talking about his sippy cup, the frog, his blanket, or his tag.
All that said, I am glad we make the time and have it together. I'm sure as he grows, the prayer will too. Like anything, I have to have a little faith. Be OK with where we are as mom and son and know it's good that we do make the time to pray and thank God for our blessings.
Friday, December 31, 2010
2011 Resolution
Decision made, based on last year's resolutions - 2011 will be a return to art. I promise not to put unrealistic expectations on myself regarding what I think is a good shot or good photography and just bring a camera and shoot. I will do this for myself and for the memory of process film since as of earlier this week Kodak shut down it's processor and last lab. Ever.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Much To Say
He's saying so much lately, I have to jot things down as he says them so I don't forget:
I gotta be CAREFUL!
How about?
Mommy, I gotta come?
New things he's doing:
Let's the dog in each morning
Knows to moves his fingers and hands to play guitar
Sings Twinkle Twinkle Little Start and Itsy Bitsy Spider
Knows how to use the iPad and a phone is a camera
I gotta be CAREFUL!
How about?
Mommy, I gotta come?
New things he's doing:
Let's the dog in each morning
Knows to moves his fingers and hands to play guitar
Sings Twinkle Twinkle Little Start and Itsy Bitsy Spider
Knows how to use the iPad and a phone is a camera
Friday, November 12, 2010
The Lipstick Experiment
Tuesday morning Vince woke to find Mitch covered in my red lipstick from head to toe. Quite literally - he had chunks of red goo in his hair, in his fingers and all over his jammies.It would seem as though a certain mother left her Halloween makeup on his dresser one night after tucking him into bed. Despite being pushed to the back of the dresser, the bright red and gold packaging caught the little fella's eye and screamed - COLOR!
And color he did. All over the wall, the door, his toys and YIKES, the white carpet. Let's leave the topic of white carpet in a toddler's room for another day. The bottom line is - it's there and with the house going on the market next spring, the gunk had to come out.
One by one, the toys got wiped off and into the dishwasher for a massive cleaning and sanitizing bath. With lots of soap suds, the makeup came off the walls and door. Finally what remained was the biggest task - saving the carpet. After using a natural cleaner to lift a good amount of the stain, I wound up losing a few brain cells to Goof Off. Hey, I didn't need those cells. Because it was worth sniffing some fumes for 30 minutes to watch the red disappear like magic. There I was hollering at the carpet, "THAT'S RIGHT B*TCH!" Take that!
So while I can't say it looks like it never happened, it does look pretty damn good. It's back to ivory. And by the time the holidays are over and Stanley Steamer returns, it'll be looking mighty fine.
In the meantime, all makeup is far far away from a 2 and half year old.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Big Boy Bed
Last Tuesday night - August 17, 2010 - was the last night I tucked Mitch into his crib. The following morning before I left bright and early for my volunteer site, I crept into his room to peek, pat his head and wish him a happy day. Mitch almost never wakes up but that morning, he rolled over and said, "Hi Mommy." He attempted to get up but I told him to put his head down again and go back to sleep. I covered him up, kissed his head and left for the day.
Mom and dad would have him that night into Thursday. Thursday night, after a long day of service learning with middle schoolers, I get Mitch ready for bed and we sit on the day bed in his room reading stories. He pulls the covers back, slides under and rests his head on the pillow, sticks his thumb in his mouth and mutters, "Night Night." Just like that. The kid tells me, no more crib mommy. I'm ready for a big boy bed. I was surprised but I went with it. I asked him if that was what he wanted...if he was ready. No resistance.
So out came the trundle and we did a little makeshift bed with some sheets and a king size comforter and a few pillows. I tucked him in and about an hour later, he was still there, in the same spot, sleeping soundly with his blankets and frogs on the big boy bed.
We haven't looked back. The crib came down Sunday night and Vince and I both stared at it, in pieces, and remembered the day we picked it out and set it up. How excited we were...how we tried a few spots in the room before settling on it's home on the right side of the room. The receipt taped to the bottom read May 9, 2008, exactly 3 weeks before he was born. Sans that in the room, it feels a little bigger. We rearranged some furniture and look forward to hanging up some of his artwork.
A crib symbolizes baby...smallness...nursery. I remember when he really started spending naptime and bedtime in there vs. the cradle and the bassinet, about 3 months old. I remember when we dropped the mattress in it from the highest setting...I think he was about 8-9 months and standing up in it! All these little milestones. I love how he moves forward, growing up, loving it, loving life, and while I'm a little teary eyed that his chubby infant/baby days are gone, I'm also loving every second of him at 2.
Somedays I do miss them that small and I want another...but then I stare at him sleeping soundly and I see a bit of myself in his face and I wonder how I can possibility love anyone as much?
The crib is in the basement right now...It'll hang out with us for a while longer. You never know.
Mom and dad would have him that night into Thursday. Thursday night, after a long day of service learning with middle schoolers, I get Mitch ready for bed and we sit on the day bed in his room reading stories. He pulls the covers back, slides under and rests his head on the pillow, sticks his thumb in his mouth and mutters, "Night Night." Just like that. The kid tells me, no more crib mommy. I'm ready for a big boy bed. I was surprised but I went with it. I asked him if that was what he wanted...if he was ready. No resistance.
So out came the trundle and we did a little makeshift bed with some sheets and a king size comforter and a few pillows. I tucked him in and about an hour later, he was still there, in the same spot, sleeping soundly with his blankets and frogs on the big boy bed.
We haven't looked back. The crib came down Sunday night and Vince and I both stared at it, in pieces, and remembered the day we picked it out and set it up. How excited we were...how we tried a few spots in the room before settling on it's home on the right side of the room. The receipt taped to the bottom read May 9, 2008, exactly 3 weeks before he was born. Sans that in the room, it feels a little bigger. We rearranged some furniture and look forward to hanging up some of his artwork.
A crib symbolizes baby...smallness...nursery. I remember when he really started spending naptime and bedtime in there vs. the cradle and the bassinet, about 3 months old. I remember when we dropped the mattress in it from the highest setting...I think he was about 8-9 months and standing up in it! All these little milestones. I love how he moves forward, growing up, loving it, loving life, and while I'm a little teary eyed that his chubby infant/baby days are gone, I'm also loving every second of him at 2.
Somedays I do miss them that small and I want another...but then I stare at him sleeping soundly and I see a bit of myself in his face and I wonder how I can possibility love anyone as much?
The crib is in the basement right now...It'll hang out with us for a while longer. You never know.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
10 years later...service learning
I'm about to head up to Lawrenceville, NJ - home of The Center for Faith Justice - for a week of facilitating service learning. It has been a long time since I stepped outside of familiar places in terms of serving others. I can't help but think though that this opportunity presented itself at an important moment - or maybe intersection of several important moments: Having a little more free time now that Mitch is two, having the ability to carve out the time to do this since I'm working for myself, and since the mission of Piccadilly Arts is always a work in progress, having the chance to let the words I heard every day for 4 years - men and women with and for others - shape me again now and shape the vision/mission of my company.
It also comes at a time when I think I may need some help reflecting.
I'm a little disappointed at the moment. I didn't go into a recent situation expecting much, but I thought there would be some excitement from my friend and mentor when I told him what I'd been up to these past 3 months. I mean, there is a lot going on. I think I've done a damn good job at keeping things moving, keeping things interesting, and keeping things tied to a common ideal. I know I'm doing a bang up job for someone that was laid off 6-7 months ago. I know I'm smart and driven and will persevere. It just would have been nice to hear something more than "Your new, things take time" from this person.
Something more, even a suggestion...I like the good, the bad, the ugly. Not the safe well traveled road full of cliches.
Perhaps I'll find a sense of peace this week as I guide middle schoolers in their faith. I've come a long way since spring break in March 2000 when I engaged in a similar service learning experience. I'm pretty rooted and a lot wiser and calmer at 32 than I was at 22. I hope I can give some of that to a 12 year old. And I hope I'm open to hear the messages of the week and apply them to my own life.
It also comes at a time when I think I may need some help reflecting.
I'm a little disappointed at the moment. I didn't go into a recent situation expecting much, but I thought there would be some excitement from my friend and mentor when I told him what I'd been up to these past 3 months. I mean, there is a lot going on. I think I've done a damn good job at keeping things moving, keeping things interesting, and keeping things tied to a common ideal. I know I'm doing a bang up job for someone that was laid off 6-7 months ago. I know I'm smart and driven and will persevere. It just would have been nice to hear something more than "Your new, things take time" from this person.
Something more, even a suggestion...I like the good, the bad, the ugly. Not the safe well traveled road full of cliches.
Perhaps I'll find a sense of peace this week as I guide middle schoolers in their faith. I've come a long way since spring break in March 2000 when I engaged in a similar service learning experience. I'm pretty rooted and a lot wiser and calmer at 32 than I was at 22. I hope I can give some of that to a 12 year old. And I hope I'm open to hear the messages of the week and apply them to my own life.
Thursday, August 05, 2010
Changes
A few weeks ago I had a complete breakdown - in my efforts to rearrange and create space in our small twin home, I just lost it. Furniture, clothing, toys and more were scattered all about the living room and I screamed at Vince how there is just NO MORE ROOM. Period. The end.
I left everything where it was that evening and despite knowing it was more or less my PMSed induced state, I realized I have never abandoned anything, never thrown anything, and never felt that lost in the house.
We bought 5.5 years ago - in the winter of 2005. Pre-wedding and pre-baby. We've done a ton of work to the place - new bath, new hardwood floors, fresh paint, new deck, and most recently, a new kitchen. This is only 1/8 of the list of upgrades. However, I think even with all the improvements, it becomes clear at some point that we've outgrown the place. We've reached that point.
I thought there was a way for me to carve out a section of the basement and make it a home office but I simply cannot work in the dungeon...and it really is. It's an old, cold, dark 1950s basement. Unless we dropped $10K to finish the basement, I would need to find another location in the house. We contemplated the remodel but since there is no exit, it wouldn't add to the square footage of our home. Moreover, in our community, homes top out at a certain point. No way would we get back what we put in.
so here I am, making an effort to do what I can with what I have because I know sometime in the next year we will be moving. We've already started the process. Meeting with Realtors, talking to mortgage brokers, driving around areas we like. I'm a little sad. I love this home. We have done a ton to make it awesome. I will miss that.
I'm also anxious because of the economy. Worried about how the financials will play out and hoping we can sell and get a fair price...hoping we get whatever cute charming home we'll eventually adore and want in our price range. So many variables though.
And then the actual agony of moving. MOVING SUCKS and there simply isn't anything exciting about it. Even when you get to your destination, you stare at mounds of boxes and live in a state of disarray for a good while. I hate that feeling.
I'm a bundle of mixed emotions. Maybe the one little ray of light is the thought of the real home office I can create. Maybe.
I left everything where it was that evening and despite knowing it was more or less my PMSed induced state, I realized I have never abandoned anything, never thrown anything, and never felt that lost in the house.
We bought 5.5 years ago - in the winter of 2005. Pre-wedding and pre-baby. We've done a ton of work to the place - new bath, new hardwood floors, fresh paint, new deck, and most recently, a new kitchen. This is only 1/8 of the list of upgrades. However, I think even with all the improvements, it becomes clear at some point that we've outgrown the place. We've reached that point.
I thought there was a way for me to carve out a section of the basement and make it a home office but I simply cannot work in the dungeon...and it really is. It's an old, cold, dark 1950s basement. Unless we dropped $10K to finish the basement, I would need to find another location in the house. We contemplated the remodel but since there is no exit, it wouldn't add to the square footage of our home. Moreover, in our community, homes top out at a certain point. No way would we get back what we put in.
so here I am, making an effort to do what I can with what I have because I know sometime in the next year we will be moving. We've already started the process. Meeting with Realtors, talking to mortgage brokers, driving around areas we like. I'm a little sad. I love this home. We have done a ton to make it awesome. I will miss that.
I'm also anxious because of the economy. Worried about how the financials will play out and hoping we can sell and get a fair price...hoping we get whatever cute charming home we'll eventually adore and want in our price range. So many variables though.
And then the actual agony of moving. MOVING SUCKS and there simply isn't anything exciting about it. Even when you get to your destination, you stare at mounds of boxes and live in a state of disarray for a good while. I hate that feeling.
I'm a bundle of mixed emotions. Maybe the one little ray of light is the thought of the real home office I can create. Maybe.
Wednesday, July 07, 2010
In the 'Burgh
We hauled ass across the state this Fourth to celebrate the nation's birthday and to catch the Phillies vs. the Pirates at PNC Bank Park. Fireworks and catching up with family and an old friend made it a terrific weekend.
Back in the day when Vince did his thing and schlepped there for a year I was a bitter and angst filled 22 year old. Never one to say, "No! Stay!" and know we'd both regret that, I said, "Go, you have to do what you need to do." Of course, I wasn't happy with it. Particularly on the heels of the 'rents separation, their issues, my overall struggles of figuring out who I was at that time. So Pittsburgh and I had a touch and go relationship. I never hated it...I just was never quite sold on it.
Fast forward to 2007 when I started at PennPAT. Since the program was statewide, I would spend the next two years traveling to/from the cities a few times a year and making friends with all my artists and managers who live there. I got to really see the city part of the city.
I can't say enough about that city. It's just so stinkin cool. Do the Pittsburgh folk know what a gem they have? Rivers, culture, hidden old neighborhoods, college life, festivals...they even have a corporate crew team. I kid you not. What I love most is nothing is overdone. You would think living in the Philly metro region that artists for example would get swallowed up but alas, everywhere I go, there is yet another lame ass modern dance company. Recreating the wheel. Yet another lame ass japanime graphic artist with his bobble head or bird image scribbled on a tee shirt or a piece of paper and hocking it as art. Everywhere I turn.
No doubt those types exist everywhere and in every industry but the Burgh is too small to keep them. Good. Because I like going to a place where I see fresh, decent talent. And I like the idea that should we ever move there, it's small enough that collaboration is already embraced...connections are already in existence and are meaningful. One might actually make a difference.
Back in the day when Vince did his thing and schlepped there for a year I was a bitter and angst filled 22 year old. Never one to say, "No! Stay!" and know we'd both regret that, I said, "Go, you have to do what you need to do." Of course, I wasn't happy with it. Particularly on the heels of the 'rents separation, their issues, my overall struggles of figuring out who I was at that time. So Pittsburgh and I had a touch and go relationship. I never hated it...I just was never quite sold on it.
Fast forward to 2007 when I started at PennPAT. Since the program was statewide, I would spend the next two years traveling to/from the cities a few times a year and making friends with all my artists and managers who live there. I got to really see the city part of the city.
I can't say enough about that city. It's just so stinkin cool. Do the Pittsburgh folk know what a gem they have? Rivers, culture, hidden old neighborhoods, college life, festivals...they even have a corporate crew team. I kid you not. What I love most is nothing is overdone. You would think living in the Philly metro region that artists for example would get swallowed up but alas, everywhere I go, there is yet another lame ass modern dance company. Recreating the wheel. Yet another lame ass japanime graphic artist with his bobble head or bird image scribbled on a tee shirt or a piece of paper and hocking it as art. Everywhere I turn.
No doubt those types exist everywhere and in every industry but the Burgh is too small to keep them. Good. Because I like going to a place where I see fresh, decent talent. And I like the idea that should we ever move there, it's small enough that collaboration is already embraced...connections are already in existence and are meaningful. One might actually make a difference.
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Two!
A quick post to say my little guy is two today. I can't believe two years ago at this time I was pumped with petocin and an epidural not feeling a damn thing waiting for the staff at Crozer to tell me it was time (that would be around 7:30pm). Mitch came into this world at 8:19pm. Deadliest Catch played on Discovery Channel and it appropriately aired today ;)
Two whole years. Time really does flies. I miss that first summer sometimes - swaddling the little guy, letting him hang out in onsies all day, his adorable cradle, swing and boppy (and ALL his gear). Nothing quite compares to the first months of mommyhood.
Now our favorite things to do are arts and crafts, playing with trains, balls and anything outside. He talks up a storm and definitely loves hanging out with his mommy ;) His special day started with his favorite breakfast (Apple Jack, mana), included a trip to Brandywine Zoo, a lollipop, Mexican lunch, a 3 hour nap, pressies from Nana and Grandpop, Happy Birthday and a cupcake, wound down by Star Wars and popcorn. A great day.
Mitch, my best gift ever, happy 2nd birthday little boy!
Two whole years. Time really does flies. I miss that first summer sometimes - swaddling the little guy, letting him hang out in onsies all day, his adorable cradle, swing and boppy (and ALL his gear). Nothing quite compares to the first months of mommyhood.
Now our favorite things to do are arts and crafts, playing with trains, balls and anything outside. He talks up a storm and definitely loves hanging out with his mommy ;) His special day started with his favorite breakfast (Apple Jack, mana), included a trip to Brandywine Zoo, a lollipop, Mexican lunch, a 3 hour nap, pressies from Nana and Grandpop, Happy Birthday and a cupcake, wound down by Star Wars and popcorn. A great day.
Mitch, my best gift ever, happy 2nd birthday little boy!
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
The King Is Dead
If you've ever known my husband - ever - you've known a complete computer geek. Always the gamer, the network admin, my basement is littered with cables, wires, motherboards, bits and pieces of PC equipment and a ton of outdated software. It's possible somewhere down there is a floppy.
Vince could troubleshoot anything.
Until now.
His title as computer geek has officially ended. We both have new laptops with Windows 7 installed. We've had these laptops for some time now. His is older than mine. Once upon a time he'd have figured out that for whatever reason they could not connect to the server. He would have actually tried to do so. Instead, I'm moving thousands of music files off my old laptop and onto the server, now trying to upload them to the new laptop and into iTunes - with no luck.
He is clueless. The best I can do is access the information via the web IP. WHAT? That doesn't help me import the music.
A long time ago, before the world of License Restoration and SEO dominated his life (and baseball and Flyers), this would have been realized, addressed, and fixed - albeit with a few dollars spent at CompUSA - in one night.
I had computers built for me, issues troubleshooted, and yes, I was spoiled. Now, I must join the ranks of all the other folks in the world who have average nontechie partners and go at it alone. Or worse - call in reinforcements. This sucks.
Vince could troubleshoot anything.
Until now.
His title as computer geek has officially ended. We both have new laptops with Windows 7 installed. We've had these laptops for some time now. His is older than mine. Once upon a time he'd have figured out that for whatever reason they could not connect to the server. He would have actually tried to do so. Instead, I'm moving thousands of music files off my old laptop and onto the server, now trying to upload them to the new laptop and into iTunes - with no luck.
He is clueless. The best I can do is access the information via the web IP. WHAT? That doesn't help me import the music.
A long time ago, before the world of License Restoration and SEO dominated his life (and baseball and Flyers), this would have been realized, addressed, and fixed - albeit with a few dollars spent at CompUSA - in one night.
I had computers built for me, issues troubleshooted, and yes, I was spoiled. Now, I must join the ranks of all the other folks in the world who have average nontechie partners and go at it alone. Or worse - call in reinforcements. This sucks.
Monday, May 17, 2010
Soon to be Two
I'm planning Mitch's two year old party and I just cannot believe how fast the time has gone. I've been very much aware of this passing of time in recent weeks and I'm doing my best to be here now, in the present moment. We are enjoying the lovely spring weather - complete with running, kicking the ball (kick da ball!), proclaiming every basketball net in sight, slides at the playground, riding trains at Linvilla and more. I suppose my most favorite has been, "Mommy, take a turn." Or, he'll take my hand as he says, "Mommy, blah blah hand." There really is this jumble of sounds in the middle of most of his sentences...I think it's just that...he's trying to formulate sentences based off of what he's hearing. He doesn't quite grasp each word in the middle, just the beginning and end. And a lot of associations. It's really amazing.
Oh, and Be Pa Pa is a melody. We discovered Bitty Bitty Bop is the real meaning behind it and stems from Thursday's Makin Music class. There ya go.
Oh, and Be Pa Pa is a melody. We discovered Bitty Bitty Bop is the real meaning behind it and stems from Thursday's Makin Music class. There ya go.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
More words
I love that every baby has his or her own language or set of words. Mitch has a few phrases that would seem like random jibberish except that he has said them over and over for months now that I'm convinced they do in fact mean something to him:
Be Pa Pa (add in clasped hands shaking in the air) - maybe this is his interpretation of a melody?
Pina ma - Usually expressing excitement/happiness in a moment.
Ju Ma Ma or Ju Pa Pa - Now that I'm writing this, I wonder if it has something to do with mom vs. dad?
Mina or Pino or Bears - the distress calls, coupled with squinted eyes and lines in the forehead.
He's also progressed from "choo choo" to "choo choo chain!" and his voice rises as he insists on watching it on the TV.
He mimics everything now and I damn near died laughing when after he pointed and declared "choo choo chain" at yet another Tommy train, I said, "I know!" (with excitement) and he repeated "I know." Very matter of factly.
Be Pa Pa (add in clasped hands shaking in the air) - maybe this is his interpretation of a melody?
Pina ma - Usually expressing excitement/happiness in a moment.
Ju Ma Ma or Ju Pa Pa - Now that I'm writing this, I wonder if it has something to do with mom vs. dad?
Mina or Pino or Bears - the distress calls, coupled with squinted eyes and lines in the forehead.
He's also progressed from "choo choo" to "choo choo chain!" and his voice rises as he insists on watching it on the TV.
He mimics everything now and I damn near died laughing when after he pointed and declared "choo choo chain" at yet another Tommy train, I said, "I know!" (with excitement) and he repeated "I know." Very matter of factly.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Words
Mitch's vocab has blown up in the past few months. Since I am terrible in keeping up with his little baby book, I wanted to jot down a few of the great words and phrases that I hear daily.
His first words were ball, dog (doe-awg), uh-oh (at-oh), hi, bye. Those I heard last spring and early summer.
Since then we've heard apple, cookie (spoken in a low sinister voice), juice, chair, frog (rut rut then fwra), bear, cars, Apple Jacks, pizza, color, Elmo, snow (knowing), night night, and of course Mommy and Daddy. He had been saying mommy for a little while this past fall but chose Christmas morning to call for me from his crib. Since I have been laid off, I now hear "mommy home."
He also will now call for the dog, Jules. "Juuuuueeeessss" sounds more like Jews. We went through all the colors and then some the other day and he is repeating everything...pointing at everything...I finally came to understand that "a bears" is code for help or distress.
It is so fun to experience everything through him.
His first words were ball, dog (doe-awg), uh-oh (at-oh), hi, bye. Those I heard last spring and early summer.
Since then we've heard apple, cookie (spoken in a low sinister voice), juice, chair, frog (rut rut then fwra), bear, cars, Apple Jacks, pizza, color, Elmo, snow (knowing), night night, and of course Mommy and Daddy. He had been saying mommy for a little while this past fall but chose Christmas morning to call for me from his crib. Since I have been laid off, I now hear "mommy home."
He also will now call for the dog, Jules. "Juuuuueeeessss" sounds more like Jews. We went through all the colors and then some the other day and he is repeating everything...pointing at everything...I finally came to understand that "a bears" is code for help or distress.
It is so fun to experience everything through him.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
My Brand Vision
I've had a ton of calls and emails...many I've initiated, some from my connections. Everyone wants to talk. Initially, this excited me. In a matter of six weeks though I'm a little burnt out from talking...more burnt out from the realization that I have my own vision, my own brand (whether I knew it or not) and bottom line - there aren't that many people, places, or things (thus far) that are truly in line with who I am and what I want this company to be.
I'm doing an exercise right now that's helping me clarify via messaging what my values are, what my mission is, how that translates into my brand vision and ultimately, the markets I'll serve and how I'll go about doing so. It's the back end of my marketing plan. It's a PAIN IN THE ASS. But I love it.
As annoyed as I am, I'm also happy that I'm getting clarity. You realize what you want by knowing what you don't want. I have to turn down a lot of offers (or potential offers) - some I've even thought long and hard on - for the sake of maintaining who I am and not diluting my brand and wasting time and resources.
I have come back to the following values: Experience, Sustainability, Social Change & Community. I want to work with people and organizations that are just as passionate about these values as I am. I'm not sure if there's a crazy amount of money to be made here...most small or independently owned businesses tend to do a ton themselves because they can't afford consulting services (I'm also thinking back to my days at American Pie). I need to get past the concept that that small business = the indie craft shop. They are only one part of the pie. There are still other meaningful industries out there doing great work.
I'm doing an exercise right now that's helping me clarify via messaging what my values are, what my mission is, how that translates into my brand vision and ultimately, the markets I'll serve and how I'll go about doing so. It's the back end of my marketing plan. It's a PAIN IN THE ASS. But I love it.
As annoyed as I am, I'm also happy that I'm getting clarity. You realize what you want by knowing what you don't want. I have to turn down a lot of offers (or potential offers) - some I've even thought long and hard on - for the sake of maintaining who I am and not diluting my brand and wasting time and resources.
I have come back to the following values: Experience, Sustainability, Social Change & Community. I want to work with people and organizations that are just as passionate about these values as I am. I'm not sure if there's a crazy amount of money to be made here...most small or independently owned businesses tend to do a ton themselves because they can't afford consulting services (I'm also thinking back to my days at American Pie). I need to get past the concept that that small business = the indie craft shop. They are only one part of the pie. There are still other meaningful industries out there doing great work.
Friday, January 29, 2010
The First Day
Yesterday was my last day at PennPAT, the organization where I had worked for over two years. Due to budget cuts and a restructuring of the program, many marketing initiatives have been suspended and there wasn't a need for a Program Associate. So after two terrific years of being a face of the organization, meeting inspiring artists and programming folks, I packed my duds and headed home.
I've been through several lay offs in my ten year career and I'm grateful for the time I was given at PennPAT - time to let the constituency know, time to plan, time to think, time to let it digest. Usually the "first day" of the rest of my life - the day after it takes effect - is filled with shock. But here I am, at home, cleaning my house, confident that good projects will soon be knocking.
I'm reminded of a poem my high school senior lit class read on our last day of class - I cannot recall the name of it but it started with, "This is the first day of the rest of your life..."
I'm an adaptable person and I'm excited for the good change on the horizon.
I've been through several lay offs in my ten year career and I'm grateful for the time I was given at PennPAT - time to let the constituency know, time to plan, time to think, time to let it digest. Usually the "first day" of the rest of my life - the day after it takes effect - is filled with shock. But here I am, at home, cleaning my house, confident that good projects will soon be knocking.
I'm reminded of a poem my high school senior lit class read on our last day of class - I cannot recall the name of it but it started with, "This is the first day of the rest of your life..."
I'm an adaptable person and I'm excited for the good change on the horizon.
Friday, January 08, 2010
Now
I'm at the Sheraton in Midtown for APAP and so much for my excitement for being in this hotel (instead of the Hilton). The lesson learned here is if you want space in NYC you must pay, handsomely, for it. Note to self.
I'm PMSed and moody...It's the sort of state of mind where you just need that friend that knows you well enough to hang out with you but leave you alone in your funk...drop into some hole in the wall bookstore and wander around with your coffee.
I had to do the whole makeshift business cards since payment didn't reach my designer in time. I think I'd feel a little better if I were doling out the good version of my brand identity.
But who am I kidding? It's a tough mental place when you've been laid off and people are sorry but not sure what to do or say and everyone wonders, including yourself, where you'll be next...where you belong. And the only ones who get it are the entrepreneurs or those who have stood in your exact shoes.
I have something in my back pocket and I'm sure there's a part of him that's wishing I was on his staff at this very moment and part of me wishes that too.
I'm trying not to beat myself up right now. I do a lot and manage a lot and balance a lot and I think overall I do a pretty decent job. It's more than most people would be able to handle.
So I envision the cover of Oasis' 97 album - BE HERE NOW. Just be.
I'm PMSed and moody...It's the sort of state of mind where you just need that friend that knows you well enough to hang out with you but leave you alone in your funk...drop into some hole in the wall bookstore and wander around with your coffee.
I had to do the whole makeshift business cards since payment didn't reach my designer in time. I think I'd feel a little better if I were doling out the good version of my brand identity.
But who am I kidding? It's a tough mental place when you've been laid off and people are sorry but not sure what to do or say and everyone wonders, including yourself, where you'll be next...where you belong. And the only ones who get it are the entrepreneurs or those who have stood in your exact shoes.
I have something in my back pocket and I'm sure there's a part of him that's wishing I was on his staff at this very moment and part of me wishes that too.
I'm trying not to beat myself up right now. I do a lot and manage a lot and balance a lot and I think overall I do a pretty decent job. It's more than most people would be able to handle.
So I envision the cover of Oasis' 97 album - BE HERE NOW. Just be.
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Resolutions
I haven't done New Year's resolutions in some time...usually I'd hold myself so accountable that when things beyond my control would occur and the resolution didn't happen (or looked different), I would feel like a failure. Case in point - 2001. THAT sure was a crummy year.
So here are some things kicking around in my head...no particular order:
Re-establish Piccadilly Arts
Get back into pottery and photography
Finish a scarf and learn the granny square
Read 2-3 books
Take Mitch on some trips
So here are some things kicking around in my head...no particular order:
Re-establish Piccadilly Arts
Get back into pottery and photography
Finish a scarf and learn the granny square
Read 2-3 books
Take Mitch on some trips
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Mitch in the snow
Finally. Snow. Real snow. Not that fake dusting business. The stuff that doesn't count. Finally, a real storm. Not sure it'll spank the mid-90s blizzards and ice storms we once saw but it's doing OK right now.After about 30 minutes of getting myself and Mitch dolled up in snow gear, I took the munchkin out in the elements for the first time. Here are some pictures of him experiencing the white fluffy stuff. He was most curious but uncertain. He didn't move much. He does remind one of the little guy in Christmas Story. "I can't move my arms!"
When I got him back inside and pulled off his boots, hat, and snow suit, some cold melted snow hit the carpet and touched his bare piggies. Well, he would have NONE of that. He proceeded to tell off the suit, hat, boots and any other snow covered garment in sight. "RUH RUH RUH!" followed by a pointed finger. He was furious to say the least.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
New Logo
So I hired a gal to design me a logo for Piccadilly. I am beyond excited for this. It feels very official. Once I have the logo, I can drop it onto a business card, create some stationary, and even my favorite - a stamp!
I'm getting more clear about the direction of the company as well as the feel of the brand. It's overwhelming to see my ideas morph - a lot. When I started, it was all about marketing consulting for artists and arts organizations. Then it sort of expanded to include small independent businesses. Then about 7 months ago a great circus company asked me to be their agent. Suddenly, I was knocked off my chair and all sorts of emotions flooded through me. Agent? Manager? What?
See the thing is - I was an artists' rep for a little bit. It was a wonderful experience. The best place I ever worked. EVER. I still miss being there. It's just - I was young. I had no personal boundaries. I was gullible. I did stupid things. Said stupid things. I was 110% capable of being much more than I was there. It wasn't that I couldn't handle the work. I just wasn't mature enough to handle some other things. It took me a long time to really understand that about myself. Old feelings die hard though and I was agonizing over whether I'd make a good manager and agent for this circus company.
After weeks of pushing it out of my head I finally realized it wasn't leaving...moreover, I didn't really want it to leave. Furthermore, I had to get over myself. CONFIDENCE! I was beyond passionate about this company. I watched their showcase and thought - how do they not have representation? The AD asking me was a huge compliment. I needed to figure out how to move forward with this whole notion.
Enter Operation Business Plan. How many business plans have I created now? Something like 3. I'm a pro at market research and putting stuff on paper. Start Up Nation kicked my butt into gear mid summer and I created my Life Plan. Since then I've been piece mealing the plan together - market research when I can, interviews with folks when I can, swiping ideas from other industry pros and workshops, analyzing competitors. It all resides in Google Docs. It's coming along.
The biggest decision was to focus. Focus on family programming initially. However, family programming has a bad rep and the truth is, most family programming IS terrible. But there are places out there like the New Vic Theater that do amazing programming. It redefines children and family programming.
THAT is the envelope I want to push. It goes against the whole need for curriculum tie-in (or at the very least, I'd work with just 1-2 artists with a curriculum and more along the lines of a rep theater company). What I envision is a roster of 4-5 artists in cirque, contemporary dance, contemporary classical compositions, rep or ensemble theater company, storytelling, and interesting puppetry.
So this is where I am. And trying to visualize a logo that matches all that, the rest of my brand vision and values, and my personality is tough. But I'm hoping, one step at a time. Whatever it ends up being, it's going to be fun. Stay tuned.
I'm getting more clear about the direction of the company as well as the feel of the brand. It's overwhelming to see my ideas morph - a lot. When I started, it was all about marketing consulting for artists and arts organizations. Then it sort of expanded to include small independent businesses. Then about 7 months ago a great circus company asked me to be their agent. Suddenly, I was knocked off my chair and all sorts of emotions flooded through me. Agent? Manager? What?
See the thing is - I was an artists' rep for a little bit. It was a wonderful experience. The best place I ever worked. EVER. I still miss being there. It's just - I was young. I had no personal boundaries. I was gullible. I did stupid things. Said stupid things. I was 110% capable of being much more than I was there. It wasn't that I couldn't handle the work. I just wasn't mature enough to handle some other things. It took me a long time to really understand that about myself. Old feelings die hard though and I was agonizing over whether I'd make a good manager and agent for this circus company.
After weeks of pushing it out of my head I finally realized it wasn't leaving...moreover, I didn't really want it to leave. Furthermore, I had to get over myself. CONFIDENCE! I was beyond passionate about this company. I watched their showcase and thought - how do they not have representation? The AD asking me was a huge compliment. I needed to figure out how to move forward with this whole notion.
Enter Operation Business Plan. How many business plans have I created now? Something like 3. I'm a pro at market research and putting stuff on paper. Start Up Nation kicked my butt into gear mid summer and I created my Life Plan. Since then I've been piece mealing the plan together - market research when I can, interviews with folks when I can, swiping ideas from other industry pros and workshops, analyzing competitors. It all resides in Google Docs. It's coming along.
The biggest decision was to focus. Focus on family programming initially. However, family programming has a bad rep and the truth is, most family programming IS terrible. But there are places out there like the New Vic Theater that do amazing programming. It redefines children and family programming.
THAT is the envelope I want to push. It goes against the whole need for curriculum tie-in (or at the very least, I'd work with just 1-2 artists with a curriculum and more along the lines of a rep theater company). What I envision is a roster of 4-5 artists in cirque, contemporary dance, contemporary classical compositions, rep or ensemble theater company, storytelling, and interesting puppetry.
So this is where I am. And trying to visualize a logo that matches all that, the rest of my brand vision and values, and my personality is tough. But I'm hoping, one step at a time. Whatever it ends up being, it's going to be fun. Stay tuned.
What about ME?
This typically does not bother me. I'm a very independent person so I enjoy when my friends, family and whomever else snatches Mitch from me and gives him worlds of attention. Rock on. A break for his mommy.
Except when we go to D-town.
We drop in every couple of months to visit my old work - whether it's physically swooping in and disrupting the "work" going on or bumming around town or seeing a performance. Mitch gets tons of attention. As stated above, I generally don't mind. I can catch up with my friends, find out what's going on at the agency, go shopping for CDs in the publicity department. All fine. Until the follow up.
"When's Mitch coming again?"
"You should bring Mitch to D-town."
"The kids keep asking for Mitch."
The "kids" are my old boss' kids. They are 8 and 12 and LOVE babysitting Mitch. He's like a toy to them. It's actually very adorable. I love that they love him. I love that MY kid is the favorite. And I don't even work there anymore. However, sometimes, (after the third email asking this) my eyebrow raises and what I want to do is scream - WHAT ABOUT ME?!
The thing is though - I got exactly what I wanted and I have to remind myself of that sometimes. It is about me...or in the aforementioned situations, about my child. It's not always going to look like cigars and conversation.
Except when we go to D-town.
We drop in every couple of months to visit my old work - whether it's physically swooping in and disrupting the "work" going on or bumming around town or seeing a performance. Mitch gets tons of attention. As stated above, I generally don't mind. I can catch up with my friends, find out what's going on at the agency, go shopping for CDs in the publicity department. All fine. Until the follow up.
"When's Mitch coming again?"
"You should bring Mitch to D-town."
"The kids keep asking for Mitch."
The "kids" are my old boss' kids. They are 8 and 12 and LOVE babysitting Mitch. He's like a toy to them. It's actually very adorable. I love that they love him. I love that MY kid is the favorite. And I don't even work there anymore. However, sometimes, (after the third email asking this) my eyebrow raises and what I want to do is scream - WHAT ABOUT ME?!
The thing is though - I got exactly what I wanted and I have to remind myself of that sometimes. It is about me...or in the aforementioned situations, about my child. It's not always going to look like cigars and conversation.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Cigars and Compliments
Five years ago I was here at PAE...different time and place in my life.
You do have a way of "finding me" as you so put it. You found me walking back to the hotel and we talked about the baby, about work, and this disgusting weather. We pass a smoke shop and you comment on the cigars and before I could stop myself I said, "I don't want to hear about cigars...We were supposed to have end of conference cigars years ago and you ditched me and I'll never forget it!"
It just came out. How did I even remember it? I had that stupid cigar in my bag and wound up smoking two puffs with Vince's dad before I nearly died of the fumes.
But he said, "Well, come on." And I turned back as he doubled back and into the smoke shop and purchased two cigars, gave them to me for safe keeping and said tomorrow night after dinner we'd have cigars.
I have cigars in my bag right now. CIGARS.
Before we parted, I told myself I needed to open up and talk about the management idea. A whole dialogue ensued and he told me a lot of what I already knew. Then out front of the hotel he said, "I think you can do it...and I think you'd be good at it."
He would have bought me a drink - and more enlightening conversation? - but I had dinner plans.
This scene has been playing in my head for hours. Five years after you kicked me to the curb, I get my End of Conference Cigar AND an amazing compliment. I'm overwhelmed and not sure how I'm feeling.
You do have a way of "finding me" as you so put it. You found me walking back to the hotel and we talked about the baby, about work, and this disgusting weather. We pass a smoke shop and you comment on the cigars and before I could stop myself I said, "I don't want to hear about cigars...We were supposed to have end of conference cigars years ago and you ditched me and I'll never forget it!"
It just came out. How did I even remember it? I had that stupid cigar in my bag and wound up smoking two puffs with Vince's dad before I nearly died of the fumes.
But he said, "Well, come on." And I turned back as he doubled back and into the smoke shop and purchased two cigars, gave them to me for safe keeping and said tomorrow night after dinner we'd have cigars.
I have cigars in my bag right now. CIGARS.
Before we parted, I told myself I needed to open up and talk about the management idea. A whole dialogue ensued and he told me a lot of what I already knew. Then out front of the hotel he said, "I think you can do it...and I think you'd be good at it."
He would have bought me a drink - and more enlightening conversation? - but I had dinner plans.
This scene has been playing in my head for hours. Five years after you kicked me to the curb, I get my End of Conference Cigar AND an amazing compliment. I'm overwhelmed and not sure how I'm feeling.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Uh-Oh
Mitch's new/favorite word. It sounds more like "Atoh" and because we've often said "Uh Oh Spaghetti Ohs" he now tries to sound out the allusive 4 syllable last part of that phrase and it comes out garbled!
At almost 15 months he now says hi and bye (on occasion) and this and that (dis! dat!) and dog (doe-awg) and ball. He picks up and throws any ball he can get his hands on.
I love the kid.
At almost 15 months he now says hi and bye (on occasion) and this and that (dis! dat!) and dog (doe-awg) and ball. He picks up and throws any ball he can get his hands on.
I love the kid.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Inauguration 1.20.09
It's an amazing day...the Inauguration of Barack Obama today, Tuesday, January 20, 2009. In 2009 many, including myself are watching this live on CNN.com. I tuned in via Facebook. It's just wild having my page refresh by the second with people's status updates and reading the touching and sometimes funny thoughts. I cannot recall ever an election and inauguration as emotionally intense as this. From the Amtrak train ride this past weekend and stops in Claymont and Wilmington...to the concert on Sunday...to seeing inauguration t-shirts at Old Navy yesterday. And now, just the sheer number of people, the happiness of the crowd (and those viewing this live), the anticipation, the hope...WOW.
Friday, January 02, 2009
Mitch at 7 months
I never thought the day would come when the little man would really be a baby...not a newborn or an infant anymore. But here he is at 7 months old and I'm packing away all his adorable newborn duds, his 0-3 and 3-6 month clothes, hats, booties he wore for a day, sleep sacks that kept him snug in his bassinet. When you're in it, it doesn't feel like it's moving...it feels like every day is a new thing, something changing and you are adjusting and rarely did I have 2 seconds to really step back and take it all in and see the moments. I've captured quite a few though in his baby book...his first smile, laugh, sitting up, cutting his first teeth. But between hauling those teeny tiny clothes to the attic and weening him, I realized we have moved...and are moving into another place now. Who knew I'd become so emotionally attached to breast feeding him? That not seeing the little bottles of mother's milk in the fridge or the baggies in the freezer would make me lament the those days of hard work and commitment. But it's 2009 and in this year he will crawl, walk, talk and eat more baby food and then his first big boy meal and do a million other amazing things. The reflections will be bittersweet.
Somedays I want him to stay this small...other days I cannot wait for him to run to me and yell "Mommy!"
Somedays I want him to stay this small...other days I cannot wait for him to run to me and yell "Mommy!"
Thursday, October 30, 2008
World Series
Not too much for me to say...not much of a baseball fan but we did take the little fella to a game back in September (dollar dog night!) and I know enough to impress the occasional guy. This is a true team...not one diva...just a hang on the edge of your seat several games (in the cold and rain and in Philly, yes it can do unprecedented things like be suspended). But it's what sports is all about.
Hours after the horn blowing and screaming and madness subsided, I, exhausted from no sleep because of the aforementioned commotion, canvased a 2 block radius of my office in and around 15th and Locust for the morning edition of the Inquirer but at 3 p.m. was happy to take home the "Extra." Thanks to philly.com for the commemorative cover photos in jpeg format. Now the city anticipates 1 million plus downtown for the parade tomorrow.
Thursday, October 02, 2008
Atlanta
Since I learned that the Performing Arts Exchange would be in Atlanta some time ago, I was beside myself with excitement. "Atlanta!" My eyebrows raised and I smiled. I had always wanted to go to the South and I was as excited as my favorite heroine in my favorite movie - Gone with the Wind.
That is where the trouble started. See, I had a very incorrect vision of what the city looked like in my brain. It's not that I expected sandy or cobble streets and horses and buggies...but I didn't expect NYC transplanted into Georgia. Skyscrapers and skywalks and tons of traffic welcomed me. I looked around downtown for some indication of a previous life...a turn-of-the-century life. Some sense of history.
Now this was a tight packed schedule and I didn't have as much free time to explore as I had in Kansas City. I ditched a professional development workshop to visit the Margaret Mitchell Museum to learn that Atlanta has a history of all historical places and things being burned, demolished, etc. in favor of new development. How horrifying and disappointing. But the tour of the author's little apartment was really very cool and the museum housed a collection of her letters documenting her writing the novel and the aftermath. As I walked back to my hotel, I decided I would simply need to schedule a real tour of the south...I'd have to do Charleston, Savannah and visit a plantation. Atlanta, while a bustling metropolitan, was not the "south" I wanted to experience.
And unlike Kansas City which teemed with cool photo opportunities, Atlanta left me wanting more. Every day I passed this one restaurant on the corner of Peachtree Street and Harris Street and something about it's huge wrap around porch and balconies made me think it might have been a special place back in the day. I imagined "polite society" throwing a party in their ballroom and greeting their guests...who arrived via buggy...men in top hats and coats and the ladies in their hoop dresses, hats and parasols...in the large parlor.
Then again, it could have been a saloon, the likes of which polite society never saw nor discussed.
Yes, this scene went through my head today. Photo to come.
That is where the trouble started. See, I had a very incorrect vision of what the city looked like in my brain. It's not that I expected sandy or cobble streets and horses and buggies...but I didn't expect NYC transplanted into Georgia. Skyscrapers and skywalks and tons of traffic welcomed me. I looked around downtown for some indication of a previous life...a turn-of-the-century life. Some sense of history.
Now this was a tight packed schedule and I didn't have as much free time to explore as I had in Kansas City. I ditched a professional development workshop to visit the Margaret Mitchell Museum to learn that Atlanta has a history of all historical places and things being burned, demolished, etc. in favor of new development. How horrifying and disappointing. But the tour of the author's little apartment was really very cool and the museum housed a collection of her letters documenting her writing the novel and the aftermath. As I walked back to my hotel, I decided I would simply need to schedule a real tour of the south...I'd have to do Charleston, Savannah and visit a plantation. Atlanta, while a bustling metropolitan, was not the "south" I wanted to experience.
And unlike Kansas City which teemed with cool photo opportunities, Atlanta left me wanting more. Every day I passed this one restaurant on the corner of Peachtree Street and Harris Street and something about it's huge wrap around porch and balconies made me think it might have been a special place back in the day. I imagined "polite society" throwing a party in their ballroom and greeting their guests...who arrived via buggy...men in top hats and coats and the ladies in their hoop dresses, hats and parasols...in the large parlor.
Then again, it could have been a saloon, the likes of which polite society never saw nor discussed.
Yes, this scene went through my head today. Photo to come.
Live from Kansas City
There were sequins glistening in the strobe lights and a crazy blonde bustin a move to a brass band when my head screamed - It's too much! Go back to your room!
I left the indie showcase party in the nick of time...it was starting to look like an ad for Vegas. What was really cool was the Step Afrika spotlight showcase I caught at the very amazing, very old and beautifully restored Folly Theater. Once I locate my mem card adapter I can upload the footage. That was something else. Riverdance meets the Motherland. I wish the Dirty Dozen Brass Band could have been there...it would have made for a killer collaboration.
This was after my 2 hour walk around downtown...my attempt to locate the Arts & Culture "District." Walking down Main Street, I took tons of photos of cool old buildings and was even greeted by a sign that read "Arts & Culture District." I continued on foot, scouring the neighborhood for galleries and boutiques. Hmmm. Warehouse after warehouse in an otherwise industrial wasteland. Ooh - a fun antique shop! Oh wait...it closed 30 minutes ago? On a Friday night?
Around the block, up a hill - there were NO signs of life. I walked east on 18th Street and I was instantly reminded of that Brady Bunch episode where the gang stumbles upon a ghost town and somehow winds up locked up in the local jail. Brick buildings, sand swirling up in a poof, and me. I take a left and see 2 girls up ahead. Finally I found the "strip!" Whoo hoo! I approach what seems to be a bustling street to realize it was merely...a bustling corner. Now there was the local coffee joint and some shops so SCORE for me. I was so desperate to see life and some form of funky shop that I unloaded - financially - in this 100 yard stretch. I made some new friends, talked up the performing arts to this one gal who owns a lingerie shop and also created a 1-woman show, bought my son a cool vintage baby hoodie (there is actually baby vintage out there) and a few duds for myself. Like I said...I wanted a fun souvenir. I wasn't prepared to search all over the Plains for it so when I finally laid eyes on goodies I'd go berserk, but I did. I never did see any actual galleries.
Possibly, my expectations were a little too high for this very Midwest city? It gets kudos for being clean, friendly and laid back - I do love those traits. But as my NYC exhibit hall buddy and I joked - us east coasters want to walk out of our hotel and see our coffee shop RIGHT THERE. We're so demanding.
I left the indie showcase party in the nick of time...it was starting to look like an ad for Vegas. What was really cool was the Step Afrika spotlight showcase I caught at the very amazing, very old and beautifully restored Folly Theater. Once I locate my mem card adapter I can upload the footage. That was something else. Riverdance meets the Motherland. I wish the Dirty Dozen Brass Band could have been there...it would have made for a killer collaboration.
This was after my 2 hour walk around downtown...my attempt to locate the Arts & Culture "District." Walking down Main Street, I took tons of photos of cool old buildings and was even greeted by a sign that read "Arts & Culture District." I continued on foot, scouring the neighborhood for galleries and boutiques. Hmmm. Warehouse after warehouse in an otherwise industrial wasteland. Ooh - a fun antique shop! Oh wait...it closed 30 minutes ago? On a Friday night?
Around the block, up a hill - there were NO signs of life. I walked east on 18th Street and I was instantly reminded of that Brady Bunch episode where the gang stumbles upon a ghost town and somehow winds up locked up in the local jail. Brick buildings, sand swirling up in a poof, and me. I take a left and see 2 girls up ahead. Finally I found the "strip!" Whoo hoo! I approach what seems to be a bustling street to realize it was merely...a bustling corner. Now there was the local coffee joint and some shops so SCORE for me. I was so desperate to see life and some form of funky shop that I unloaded - financially - in this 100 yard stretch. I made some new friends, talked up the performing arts to this one gal who owns a lingerie shop and also created a 1-woman show, bought my son a cool vintage baby hoodie (there is actually baby vintage out there) and a few duds for myself. Like I said...I wanted a fun souvenir. I wasn't prepared to search all over the Plains for it so when I finally laid eyes on goodies I'd go berserk, but I did. I never did see any actual galleries.
Possibly, my expectations were a little too high for this very Midwest city? It gets kudos for being clean, friendly and laid back - I do love those traits. But as my NYC exhibit hall buddy and I joked - us east coasters want to walk out of our hotel and see our coffee shop RIGHT THERE. We're so demanding.
Beverly Hills
From earlier this fall.
Bah - the new show. I was dead set against watching this. I mean, really, how could I? I am a die hard fan of the original. But there I was tuning in (a little late though) and texting my friend the entire time giving her the back story on the old characters and typing "Seriously?" for nearly 2 hours. My two cents:
New cast: LAME. Our Jim & Cindy replacements - Rob Estes? Hello, Melrose Place transplant. Lori Laughlin? Only Aunt Becky forever on Full House (I will not go into her failed show from 2 seasons ago). The boys are ugly...where's the cute Luke Perry replacement??? The girls look like skinny sluts. Whatever. Stupid acting, stupid plot. Stupid. Just like all the other stupid teen shows today.
Kelly Taylor: Not surprised Jenny came back. She was on the show the entire time. I'm always a Kelly fan. The burning question of course is - WHO is the father of the little boy??
Brenda Walsh: Girl hasn't been on the show since '94 when she jetted off to London to explore the world of theater. We'd hear tall tales of her whereabouts and happenings - phone calls to Brandon, letters from Dylan after he tore out of town in '95. But the reality remains that Shannon was a bitch and had issues with everyone on the show and whether she was fired or quit, she was NOT friends with Jenny and neither were their characters at that point in time. When all the other peeps left the show they came back for weddings! Or send a video! They were special guest stars! Where was Shannon?! She never came back. WHERE did this rekindling come from? See the first adjective: LAME.
My final thoughts -- I'm convinced that the child spawned between Principal Rob Estes and the blond curly haired chick's mom (given up for adoption) will turn out to be Steve Sanders. Come on. Coincidence? I think not. Samantha Sanders was not his biological mother.
Per Erin's confession to that Annie girl, seriously? Mel, you cheated on Jackie AGAIN!? You got back together in the later episodes. Then you cheat again? No wonder Jackie is a wreck (I guess we'll see her next week).
This is where us loyal fans are left? We're stunned...confused...disappointed. But I'm not surprised...the very idea of this coming around again is silly and will never live up to our generation's expectations...it was better for us leaving the world behind in 2000 when Donna and David married and we finally were sure Dylan and Kelly wound up together...
Bah - the new show. I was dead set against watching this. I mean, really, how could I? I am a die hard fan of the original. But there I was tuning in (a little late though) and texting my friend the entire time giving her the back story on the old characters and typing "Seriously?" for nearly 2 hours. My two cents:
New cast: LAME. Our Jim & Cindy replacements - Rob Estes? Hello, Melrose Place transplant. Lori Laughlin? Only Aunt Becky forever on Full House (I will not go into her failed show from 2 seasons ago). The boys are ugly...where's the cute Luke Perry replacement??? The girls look like skinny sluts. Whatever. Stupid acting, stupid plot. Stupid. Just like all the other stupid teen shows today.
Kelly Taylor: Not surprised Jenny came back. She was on the show the entire time. I'm always a Kelly fan. The burning question of course is - WHO is the father of the little boy??
Brenda Walsh: Girl hasn't been on the show since '94 when she jetted off to London to explore the world of theater. We'd hear tall tales of her whereabouts and happenings - phone calls to Brandon, letters from Dylan after he tore out of town in '95. But the reality remains that Shannon was a bitch and had issues with everyone on the show and whether she was fired or quit, she was NOT friends with Jenny and neither were their characters at that point in time. When all the other peeps left the show they came back for weddings! Or send a video! They were special guest stars! Where was Shannon?! She never came back. WHERE did this rekindling come from? See the first adjective: LAME.
My final thoughts -- I'm convinced that the child spawned between Principal Rob Estes and the blond curly haired chick's mom (given up for adoption) will turn out to be Steve Sanders. Come on. Coincidence? I think not. Samantha Sanders was not his biological mother.
Per Erin's confession to that Annie girl, seriously? Mel, you cheated on Jackie AGAIN!? You got back together in the later episodes. Then you cheat again? No wonder Jackie is a wreck (I guess we'll see her next week).
This is where us loyal fans are left? We're stunned...confused...disappointed. But I'm not surprised...the very idea of this coming around again is silly and will never live up to our generation's expectations...it was better for us leaving the world behind in 2000 when Donna and David married and we finally were sure Dylan and Kelly wound up together...
Neil
From 8/9/08
Saturday night the Bonanni crew (sans my mom and Johnny) swooped into the Wachovia Center to enjoy the timeless sounds of Neil Diamond. It's the second time I've seen him live. The first time was in October 2001, on the heels of our nation's tragedy. He had opened the concert with Coming to America and weeks (possibly even months) of grief and loss came streaming down my cheeks. The other night with the Olympics underway, I wondered WHEN are you going to sing this song, Neil? I patiently waited the entire show. His encore included this song as well as several other favorites of mine.
The entire show was fantastic...I managed to score us the most bangin seats. Not only did we have a terrific view of our star but also that hilarious guy in the front row who serenaded Neil the entire time! Tons of old tunes, a few new ones. It was humbling to look around at a packed Wachovia Center and know ALL THESE PEOPLE are here to see him (and clog the parking lot).
Here's the set list.
Holly Holy (one of my favorites!)
Beautiful Noise
Street Life
Love on the Rocks
Play Me
Cherry Cherry
Thank the Lord for the Nighttime
Home Before Dark
Don't Go There
Pretty Amazing Grace
Crunchy Granola Suite
Done Too Soon
Brooklyn Roads
I Am ... I Said
Solitary Man
Forever in Blue Jeans (Love this one too!)
Sweet Caroline
You Don't Bring Me Flowers
Song Sung Blue
I'm a Believer
Man of God
Hell Yeah
Encore:
Cracklin' Rosie
America
Brother Love's Travelin' Salvation Show
My favorite tunes - I grew up rockin these tunes in the mid 80s - all the way up and down the NJ Turnpike when we schlepped from PA to NY! "Pack up the babies and grab the old ladies...everyone knows...everyone goes...Brother Love's shows..."
Saturday night the Bonanni crew (sans my mom and Johnny) swooped into the Wachovia Center to enjoy the timeless sounds of Neil Diamond. It's the second time I've seen him live. The first time was in October 2001, on the heels of our nation's tragedy. He had opened the concert with Coming to America and weeks (possibly even months) of grief and loss came streaming down my cheeks. The other night with the Olympics underway, I wondered WHEN are you going to sing this song, Neil? I patiently waited the entire show. His encore included this song as well as several other favorites of mine.
The entire show was fantastic...I managed to score us the most bangin seats. Not only did we have a terrific view of our star but also that hilarious guy in the front row who serenaded Neil the entire time! Tons of old tunes, a few new ones. It was humbling to look around at a packed Wachovia Center and know ALL THESE PEOPLE are here to see him (and clog the parking lot).
Here's the set list.
Holly Holy (one of my favorites!)
Beautiful Noise
Street Life
Love on the Rocks
Play Me
Cherry Cherry
Thank the Lord for the Nighttime
Home Before Dark
Don't Go There
Pretty Amazing Grace
Crunchy Granola Suite
Done Too Soon
Brooklyn Roads
I Am ... I Said
Solitary Man
Forever in Blue Jeans (Love this one too!)
Sweet Caroline
You Don't Bring Me Flowers
Song Sung Blue
I'm a Believer
Man of God
Hell Yeah
Encore:
Cracklin' Rosie
America
Brother Love's Travelin' Salvation Show
My favorite tunes - I grew up rockin these tunes in the mid 80s - all the way up and down the NJ Turnpike when we schlepped from PA to NY! "Pack up the babies and grab the old ladies...everyone knows...everyone goes...Brother Love's shows..."
Thursday, August 07, 2008
My Post-Its are Yellow (and other musings)
When you take maternity leave and are gone for 2 months (or however long you might take), when you come back to work, you realize a lot has changed. I started back part time on Monday and one of the first things I noticed was that every encounter took an extra 5 minutes. People I'd completely forgotten about - the gang at Latimer Garage, the men at the front desk - all asking how we're doing, if I have photos, etc. Lots of conversations.
As I left the garage, I walked past the Starbucks with its big glass windows and turned to see my reflection and stopped. For months I saw this very high carrying pregnant belly in the glass. That day I saw myself in a cute tank and capris, sans the cute belly. There was a little pout on my face for a few seconds...no more belly. I looked so different.
At the office a few things remained as I left them on May 29. I spent most of the morning going through things and organizing life again. Copies of my last time sheet from May were in my Inbox and my email had 4 messages from August and the remaining 15 from May. On top of my scrap paper lay the "Baby Pool" paper with everyone's guesses on when the little man would arrive (I took it home that night for inclusion in his scrapbook). Our new messaging was reflected in a new purple PMS color on new business cards and letterhead. DVDs of the showcases from the conference I missed (in labor that day) waited on the bookshelf for me. At least once an hour I noticed something that had changed. It was a time warp.
The funniest thing was when I went to scribble some notes on a post-it and I reached for my tri-colored apple post-its and much to my surprise there were no more red ones. "My Post-its are yellow!," I stated to my co-worker. They were red when I left and now they are yellow.
It really is surreal when you leave and come back and the random crazy stuff you notice.
As I left the garage, I walked past the Starbucks with its big glass windows and turned to see my reflection and stopped. For months I saw this very high carrying pregnant belly in the glass. That day I saw myself in a cute tank and capris, sans the cute belly. There was a little pout on my face for a few seconds...no more belly. I looked so different.
At the office a few things remained as I left them on May 29. I spent most of the morning going through things and organizing life again. Copies of my last time sheet from May were in my Inbox and my email had 4 messages from August and the remaining 15 from May. On top of my scrap paper lay the "Baby Pool" paper with everyone's guesses on when the little man would arrive (I took it home that night for inclusion in his scrapbook). Our new messaging was reflected in a new purple PMS color on new business cards and letterhead. DVDs of the showcases from the conference I missed (in labor that day) waited on the bookshelf for me. At least once an hour I noticed something that had changed. It was a time warp.
The funniest thing was when I went to scribble some notes on a post-it and I reached for my tri-colored apple post-its and much to my surprise there were no more red ones. "My Post-its are yellow!," I stated to my co-worker. They were red when I left and now they are yellow.
It really is surreal when you leave and come back and the random crazy stuff you notice.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
When You're Gone
In less than one month both Vince's father and my parents have lost someone near and dear to them...that person that they knew in high school, who was in their wedding, who although they may have had life creep up and pull them in tons of directions, they still came back around to getting together, reminiscing, having new things in common - like being grandparents.
What goes through their minds when suddenly this person passes on? This best friend who was their age? When mortality stares them down? When I realize too that nothing lasts forever. When you think about the amazing wonderful life they did have and yet wonder why they were taken so young? When there were still more experiences to have?
And like when we all left for college...is it better to be the first to go? To have all your friends bidding you farewell? Or be the last and have to see everyone go before you? Who is there when you go?
I hold my son and I'm reminded of the cycle of life and it's very bittersweet.
"And I'll miss you when you're gone..."
- The Cranberries
What goes through their minds when suddenly this person passes on? This best friend who was their age? When mortality stares them down? When I realize too that nothing lasts forever. When you think about the amazing wonderful life they did have and yet wonder why they were taken so young? When there were still more experiences to have?
And like when we all left for college...is it better to be the first to go? To have all your friends bidding you farewell? Or be the last and have to see everyone go before you? Who is there when you go?
I hold my son and I'm reminded of the cycle of life and it's very bittersweet.
"And I'll miss you when you're gone..."
- The Cranberries
Finally
I feel like I use this adverb all the time now. Finally, I got to do (fill in the blank). Prior to having Mitch I would say, "Oh, when he's napping, I'll be able to paint the dining room, paint our bedroom, order new bedroom furniture, work on the garden, work on his scrapbook, etc." The list went on. I have accomplished a few of those to-dos but mostly I enjoy sleeping when I can.
With 2 weeks to go before I go back to work part time I thought I'd pull a classic Chrissie move and sandwich a million things into a short time frame. This past week we (insert favorite adverb here) visited my Nana, went to West Chester (I know it was November when I was last there but WHERE did that Starbucks come from???? I was both shocked and relieved since it provided a sancuary for feeding a child his bottle). Anyway, we also made it into center city to visit my co-workers and show off the little fella. On a personal note, I left my house - solo - to get together with some gals over drinks (this is a pathetic subject...I have NO tolerance...none...I couldn't finish my Guinness...so sad) and then saw Sex and the City at the Roxy. I completed some ominous health insurance paperwork (this was a big chore that I put off for a while) and finalized the layout of my wedding album (yeah, it's been two years but at least it's coming together). Today, after nearly two months, I will finally have my nails done. I can bring the baby just about anywhere but I can't take him into a nail salon. Way too toxic!
Next week we venture to Doylestown to visit friends and maybe check out that pirate exhibition at the Franklin Institute. Oh and then there's the beach...and Lambertville. Knowing me, I'm sure I'll come up with a slew of other things for us to do (in addition to the gardening and craft projects that linger).
With 2 weeks to go before I go back to work part time I thought I'd pull a classic Chrissie move and sandwich a million things into a short time frame. This past week we (insert favorite adverb here) visited my Nana, went to West Chester (I know it was November when I was last there but WHERE did that Starbucks come from???? I was both shocked and relieved since it provided a sancuary for feeding a child his bottle). Anyway, we also made it into center city to visit my co-workers and show off the little fella. On a personal note, I left my house - solo - to get together with some gals over drinks (this is a pathetic subject...I have NO tolerance...none...I couldn't finish my Guinness...so sad) and then saw Sex and the City at the Roxy. I completed some ominous health insurance paperwork (this was a big chore that I put off for a while) and finalized the layout of my wedding album (yeah, it's been two years but at least it's coming together). Today, after nearly two months, I will finally have my nails done. I can bring the baby just about anywhere but I can't take him into a nail salon. Way too toxic!
Next week we venture to Doylestown to visit friends and maybe check out that pirate exhibition at the Franklin Institute. Oh and then there's the beach...and Lambertville. Knowing me, I'm sure I'll come up with a slew of other things for us to do (in addition to the gardening and craft projects that linger).
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
My 15 Minutes of Fame
So I work for PennPAT - which is PA Performing Arts on Tour, a program of Mid Atlantic Arts Foundation - and we have a roster 153 PA based performing artists. We offer grants to both the artists on our roster and presenters in the Mid Atlantic states.
Back in January a pitch to CN8 came to fruition and they featured our organization in their Comcast Newsmakers segment. In February they interviewed my boss about our organization and highlighted Philadelphia based performing artists and in April they interviewed me, discussing the organization and roster application process. My interview airs in Pittsburgh.
You can check me out by following this link to our website.
I was 8 mo. pregnant at the time and besides my cheeks looking a little chubbier than usual, I was a total nervous wreck. I have no problem speaking in front of 1000 people but tell me I'll be on live TV and I was a studying my talking points like I was going into a final exam.
It's still weird watching myself on "TV" but it's cool and I'm always excited about free PR for the organization. And if you know a PA based performing artist interested in touring...I'm happy to talk to them about the program!
Back in January a pitch to CN8 came to fruition and they featured our organization in their Comcast Newsmakers segment. In February they interviewed my boss about our organization and highlighted Philadelphia based performing artists and in April they interviewed me, discussing the organization and roster application process. My interview airs in Pittsburgh.
You can check me out by following this link to our website.
I was 8 mo. pregnant at the time and besides my cheeks looking a little chubbier than usual, I was a total nervous wreck. I have no problem speaking in front of 1000 people but tell me I'll be on live TV and I was a studying my talking points like I was going into a final exam.
It's still weird watching myself on "TV" but it's cool and I'm always excited about free PR for the organization. And if you know a PA based performing artist interested in touring...I'm happy to talk to them about the program!
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Little Things
Two weeks after baby I finally got over to Joseph Anthony to get my hair cut and colored. Wow. I feel like a whole new person. It's amazing what planning goes into a little outing now: Pack diaper bag, pack car, feed Mitch, strap him into his car seat, go. Depending on where we are headed, an extra item may be necessary (a boppy bouncer, a play gym). Babies and all their gear. I'm still figuring out how to work much of this gear - the stroller, the swing, the car seat, even the bottle warmer. Thank god for instruction manuals. Thank god I can laugh when I mess it up.
All the nesting we hear about (and experience) during our 9 months of planning must be practice for this sort of preplanning. I'm glad that by nature I'm a bit of a planner. I used to take a stop off at Dunkin Donuts or Starbucks on my way to/from somewhere for granted and for the time being it's the highlight of my day. I am a lightweight so I look pretty comical lugging him around in his car seat, in and out of the coffee shop, the post office, wherever. Now drive through is my new friend. And if I can get there while there is still day light, even better. The other day I took Mitchell out back and he slept in the shade while I hacked away at an overgrown bush and some weeds. I was thrilled to be outside doing something.
The little things that make my day now :)
All the nesting we hear about (and experience) during our 9 months of planning must be practice for this sort of preplanning. I'm glad that by nature I'm a bit of a planner. I used to take a stop off at Dunkin Donuts or Starbucks on my way to/from somewhere for granted and for the time being it's the highlight of my day. I am a lightweight so I look pretty comical lugging him around in his car seat, in and out of the coffee shop, the post office, wherever. Now drive through is my new friend. And if I can get there while there is still day light, even better. The other day I took Mitchell out back and he slept in the shade while I hacked away at an overgrown bush and some weeds. I was thrilled to be outside doing something.
The little things that make my day now :)
Friday, June 06, 2008
On the day that you were born
As surprised as I was to learn I was pregnant, I was just as surprised the day baby Mitchell decided he wanted to be born. I definitely expected labor to play out differently - to be that sort of dramatic "rush to the hospital" we see in movies. No. No early contractions or intense pain or anything like that. I woke up last Friday just feeling like something wasn't right. I called the OB and Vince and I went in around 10 a.m. and sure enough my water had ruptured. After an internal exam - and having dilated another centimeter in one day - Dr. D (the cute doc) said the water completely broke just then and congrats! We were going to be parents today!
WHAT? I was shocked and excited. We stopped home and finished packing my bag and getting some last minute things together. I gobbled a bowl of Special K (who knew when I'd eat again) and straightened up some things. We even started a load of laundry so the little guy would have a coming home outfit. For all our planning (or maybe my planning), I sure didn't think he'd be a May baby. I was all set to go into work for a little bit, then get my nails and toes done and the next day planned on a hair cut! I thought I had a few days still to run around and do some last minute things.
So off we went...but not before we took a few pictures of me on my last day of being pregnant. Coincidently our lilies that we'd been waiting to see bloom opened up that morning. As Vince put it - something else wanted to be born today!
Without getting too in depth, we checked in, I realized this was the last time I'd see my clothing for at least 24 hours (maybe more) and got comfy on my labor/delivery bed. Things hadn't progressed much by 3 p.m. so I was induced with some petocin and then my anesthesiolist gave me an epidural. That drug rocks. I felt a few contractions right as that was being administered but then it was over. I didn't feel a another thing until the next morning. Once the petocin kicked in things moved along and I was 6 cm dilated and then 10 cm by 7 p.m. All the while I sat happy as a clam, reading some trash magazines about Brad and Angelina and surfing the web. I was ready to push at that point and did so for about 45 minutes. The next thing I remember were the OB coming in, nurses and interns donning gowns and being told it was time. I pushed maybe twice more - I don't know - and little Mitchell came into the world at 8:19 p.m.
A marvelous crying baby was placed into my arms and Vince and I just stared at this wonder and our eyes just filled with tears. He's really here. Our little son.
Later he'd get weighed and measured and have his bath and the little guy came to me all bundled up with this adorable handknitted cap on his tiny head. His stats are 6 lbs. 14 oz. and 19.25 in. He also has deep blue eyes and a gorgeous complexion. He's so alert and in the middle of the night I just stared at him, and him at me. We finally meet, mommy and son, after months of carrying him. Already I see him doing little things that I saw him do in the ultrasound. His tiny hands and arms cross when he sleeps on my chest, his head rests on top of them...when he eats or sleeps, his hands go up to his face and it's like he cradles his face.
The 9 month journey is over. It's so strange. It went so fast. For being a surprise and for the time it took me to wrap my head around it mentally and emotionally, I had such a wonderful blessed pregnancy. I would notice little changes on Fridays and Saturdays - like when I suddenly had to pee more...when my back started to hurt...when my feet swelled...when I needed to sleep on my side and do so with 20 pillows supporting me...and most of these ailments happened in the last month. Being pregnant made me more self aware, more introspective and willing to do more relaxing things for myself. There's an element of sadness to the experience being over. Of course there's the possibility of another baby someday...but nothing compares to your first.
Now baby Mitch is 1 week old tonight at 8:19 p.m. and he sleeps peacefully upstairs in his crib (for today at least) and I stare at him and want him to stay this tiny forever. But then he wouldn't get to go fishing with his daddy or to parks with his mommy. At night when it's just us, I watch his expressions and laugh...am mesmerized when he's so alert and stares at me...and cannot get over that we created this being and in only 9 months all those cells and organs and everything come together to create a new life. I'm overwhelmed with love for him and cry at times because it's also scary. Will we be good enough for him? Will he be safe and secure? And I fall apart for 10 minutes and then ask God to watch over him and protect him.
And I totally understand how moms are in love with their children and get so attached.
Mitchell Salvatore
Born Friday May 30, 2008
8:19 p.m.
6 lbs. 14 oz.
19.25 in.
WHAT? I was shocked and excited. We stopped home and finished packing my bag and getting some last minute things together. I gobbled a bowl of Special K (who knew when I'd eat again) and straightened up some things. We even started a load of laundry so the little guy would have a coming home outfit. For all our planning (or maybe my planning), I sure didn't think he'd be a May baby. I was all set to go into work for a little bit, then get my nails and toes done and the next day planned on a hair cut! I thought I had a few days still to run around and do some last minute things.
So off we went...but not before we took a few pictures of me on my last day of being pregnant. Coincidently our lilies that we'd been waiting to see bloom opened up that morning. As Vince put it - something else wanted to be born today!
Without getting too in depth, we checked in, I realized this was the last time I'd see my clothing for at least 24 hours (maybe more) and got comfy on my labor/delivery bed. Things hadn't progressed much by 3 p.m. so I was induced with some petocin and then my anesthesiolist gave me an epidural. That drug rocks. I felt a few contractions right as that was being administered but then it was over. I didn't feel a another thing until the next morning. Once the petocin kicked in things moved along and I was 6 cm dilated and then 10 cm by 7 p.m. All the while I sat happy as a clam, reading some trash magazines about Brad and Angelina and surfing the web. I was ready to push at that point and did so for about 45 minutes. The next thing I remember were the OB coming in, nurses and interns donning gowns and being told it was time. I pushed maybe twice more - I don't know - and little Mitchell came into the world at 8:19 p.m.
A marvelous crying baby was placed into my arms and Vince and I just stared at this wonder and our eyes just filled with tears. He's really here. Our little son.
Later he'd get weighed and measured and have his bath and the little guy came to me all bundled up with this adorable handknitted cap on his tiny head. His stats are 6 lbs. 14 oz. and 19.25 in. He also has deep blue eyes and a gorgeous complexion. He's so alert and in the middle of the night I just stared at him, and him at me. We finally meet, mommy and son, after months of carrying him. Already I see him doing little things that I saw him do in the ultrasound. His tiny hands and arms cross when he sleeps on my chest, his head rests on top of them...when he eats or sleeps, his hands go up to his face and it's like he cradles his face.
The 9 month journey is over. It's so strange. It went so fast. For being a surprise and for the time it took me to wrap my head around it mentally and emotionally, I had such a wonderful blessed pregnancy. I would notice little changes on Fridays and Saturdays - like when I suddenly had to pee more...when my back started to hurt...when my feet swelled...when I needed to sleep on my side and do so with 20 pillows supporting me...and most of these ailments happened in the last month. Being pregnant made me more self aware, more introspective and willing to do more relaxing things for myself. There's an element of sadness to the experience being over. Of course there's the possibility of another baby someday...but nothing compares to your first.
Now baby Mitch is 1 week old tonight at 8:19 p.m. and he sleeps peacefully upstairs in his crib (for today at least) and I stare at him and want him to stay this tiny forever. But then he wouldn't get to go fishing with his daddy or to parks with his mommy. At night when it's just us, I watch his expressions and laugh...am mesmerized when he's so alert and stares at me...and cannot get over that we created this being and in only 9 months all those cells and organs and everything come together to create a new life. I'm overwhelmed with love for him and cry at times because it's also scary. Will we be good enough for him? Will he be safe and secure? And I fall apart for 10 minutes and then ask God to watch over him and protect him.
And I totally understand how moms are in love with their children and get so attached.
Mitchell Salvatore
Born Friday May 30, 2008
8:19 p.m.
6 lbs. 14 oz.
19.25 in.
Monday, May 12, 2008
9 months
It's the middle of May and balls cold out...you'd think it was the last week of October with this icky raw rain and 50 degree weather. I might be happy anticipating Halloween and all things fall but it's May and it should be sunny and warm.
I kicked my own ass this evening. With 4 weeks to go before little man graces us with his presence I told myself to crack open the acrylic paints and finish up that pirate mural I started back in late January. Had I known (and actually believed) that the second trimester was the best time I might not have procrastinated. Instead I thought, "I have PLENTY of time!" and continued to put off the task of completing it. Plenty of time has come and gone. Now his room looks like a baby's room with a crib, a mobile, Storypeople prints, tons of clothes and blankets and toys, even diapers and a bin dedicated to baby's bathing.
In between icing my poor swollen feet (which JUST decided to blow up), keeping them elevated, treating myself to prenatal massages to ease the upper back aches, surrounding myself with a million pillows at night for comfort, I persevere on his room. I've had a blessed pregnancy and aside from minor ailments I'm fabulous. Of course I'd rather be uploading my iPod with tunes and leafing through a magazine right now but I have some brown pirate ship paint that might dry out if I don't get back to it.
I had a break...had my first random late night ice cream craving...so I'm refueled. Time to go.
I kicked my own ass this evening. With 4 weeks to go before little man graces us with his presence I told myself to crack open the acrylic paints and finish up that pirate mural I started back in late January. Had I known (and actually believed) that the second trimester was the best time I might not have procrastinated. Instead I thought, "I have PLENTY of time!" and continued to put off the task of completing it. Plenty of time has come and gone. Now his room looks like a baby's room with a crib, a mobile, Storypeople prints, tons of clothes and blankets and toys, even diapers and a bin dedicated to baby's bathing.
In between icing my poor swollen feet (which JUST decided to blow up), keeping them elevated, treating myself to prenatal massages to ease the upper back aches, surrounding myself with a million pillows at night for comfort, I persevere on his room. I've had a blessed pregnancy and aside from minor ailments I'm fabulous. Of course I'd rather be uploading my iPod with tunes and leafing through a magazine right now but I have some brown pirate ship paint that might dry out if I don't get back to it.
I had a break...had my first random late night ice cream craving...so I'm refueled. Time to go.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
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